Wow, Fantastic Baby
by MOTTAINAI
Summary: When Zack Fair is given the mission to protect an extremely important Shinra experiment, he struggles against the watchful eye of a flirtatious Turk, hell bent on making his life as difficult as possible. ZackXoc, CloudXocXSephiroth
1. So Special Guy is Me We Fly

**Chapter One:**

_-So special guy is me we fly _

In the Shinra training room, Zack Fair, the first class soldier, was doing his daily squats.

"Thirty five...thirty six..." he counted, a concentrating smile on his face.

Suddenly Angeal poked his head in and, when he saw Zack, smiled and walked in. "Hey Zack."

Zack turned, mid-squat and smiled. "Hey, Angeal, what's up?"

"Eh, not much. Got a minute?"

"Sure." Zack finished another squat and stretched before giving Angeal his full attention.

"We have a mission for you. And it's a very important one."

"Alright!" Zack did a fist pump. "What is it?" He took the paper from Angeal and read it aloud. "'Guard a very important personnel of SOLDIER.' Sounds like pretty big stuff."

"Very. It is crucial you accomplish this mission. You will be watched closely be Genesis."

"Wow, it's _that_ important?"

Angeal nodded. "So what do you say?"

"Do I have a choice?" Zack asked with a grin.

Angeal tossed him a container from his pocket. "Take this. It's uh...it'll help you out."

He crossed his arms as Zack tried to open it. "What's in it?"

"Get going, Genesis is known to be very unforgiving."

Zack put the box in his pocket, nodded and jogged out of the room.

* * *

In another room in the Shinra building, a lone soldier sat in a spacious room with a bed, desk, and chair. The soldier stared into the broken mirror in front of them, the only clear image being their bright blue eyes.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

A Turk woman wearing a tieless sleek black suit, with the top few buttons of her white dress shirt left suggestively undone, entered without waiting for a response and saluted stiffly. "Ryiah, reporting for duty, sir." She froze for a moment before breaking and smiling and laughing slightly. "I just can't do it...you're all alone here? Where's the rest of your body guards? Can't trust those soldier block heads, I suppose."

The soldier turned slightly to acknowledge her presence, but said nothing.

Ryiah jumped up and sat on the back of the chair, balancing perfectly. "So you're the latest experiment..." She clicked her tongue. "Shame such a _handsome_ young feller as yourself has fallen subject to _mako_ addiction along with...well, you know what happened to you."

Suddenly Zack burst through the door. "Zack Fair, reporting for—hey," he said noticing Ryiah. "Who're you? I thought this was my mission."

"Ryiah Fair, reporting for duty." She saluted and momentarily lost balance on the chair. After a split second, she recovered and smiled.

"Fair?" Zack repeated, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm just kiddin', you're a cutie, but not my type...I like them to have a little more going on up here," she said, tapping her head. "...in the hair department."

Staring up at the two, the silent soldier just watched.

"What?! Who could you have more hair than me?!" Zack exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "Besides, Sephiroth, of course...he has more hair than I've ever seen..." He paused a moment to frown and stare at the ground before snapping back into reality. "Sorry...uh...hello sir!" His attention was suddenly to the soldier. "I am here to...accompany you!"

"You...know Sephiroth? Ohmygosh, can you introduce us?! I'm such a big fan...he's a hero, you know..." Ryiah said, adding a mumbled, "And that hair..." She suddenly composed herself.

"Now is not the time, Ryiah. I'm here to watch you by orders from above."

"Watch _me_?" Zack asked. "What is this...oh man, Genesis hired you, didn't he?"

"I'm not at liberty to say...all I can tell you is that I was assigned to oversee you—watching the new soldier."

"I can already tell you're a little crazy...and that this mission may be harder than I expected..." Zack said, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't expect Genesis to be so interested in any of my missions. I wonder what gives..."

He turned to the soldier who sat looking at the two. He had piercing blue eyes set in a pale delicate face that showed no expression. He was dressed in the most under part of the normal Soldier uniform, and, although medium height, was on the thinner side.

"I can see why I have to protect you, though, look at those arms! I'm going to have to call you Twiggy," Zack said with a grin.

"Twiggy...I like that," Ryiah said, turning to him. "Your name is no longer Levei, it's Twiggy."

"It was...a joke." Zack shrugged it off. "So, really, why am I protecting you?"

"You need a reason for doing a mission?"

Zack and Ryiah paused as the bite of the sarcasm in his voice.

"Well, no, I was just curious," Zack finally said.

"I'm dangerous." Levei paused, and muttered. "What did they call it? Oh, I have random outbursts of pure rage and terror."

Zack laughed.

Levei looked at the shattered mirror; Zack followed his gaze and slowly stopped laughing.

"And...I have blue eyes."

There was a pause.

"Oh! You're one of us experiments! Gotcha, no problem! ...I hope you were kidding about that whole rage thing..." Zack said.

Levei stared back at him. Zack turned to Ryiah.

"Did you not see the mirror?" Ryiah asked with a smile.

"..."

"If they were a normal _mako_ experiment, would there be _two_ of us assigned to the case? I don't' think so. This one's highly dangerous...right Twiggy?"

Levei got up and sat on his bed, ignoring Ryiah's question.

"Alright, everyone ready for...wherever we're going?" Zack asked, smiling at the two enthusiastically.

"Hey, whoa, this is your mission, I'm just here to watch," Ryiah responded as she put up her hands defensively.

"Oh, hmm...I guess this is my only mission right now, so..." Zack began doing squats.

Ryiah jumped over and leaned to Levei. "I think he's into you, he's totally showing off."

Levei shook his head.

"What are you guys whispering about?" Zack asked with a suspicious look.

"The mission," Levei responded.

"Oh, sweet, fill me in!"

"Sorry, official business."

"But...I'm part of this mission."

Levei looked at Ryiah.

"Now, now, Twiggy, we have to share _some_ of the details to be fair. Go ahead, fill him in."

Zack crossed his arms and looked at Levei expectantly.

"Say something to keep him in line."

"Who says I need any help staying 'in line'? I've got this under control. In fact, I don't need any Turks watching my back."

"Alright."

"...what? Alright?"

"Yep, alright."

"Hey...so you're just gonna leave?"

"You're on your own kid."

With that, Ryiah got up and walked out.

Zack turned to Levei, his arms still crossed. "Can you believe that."

"I've grown bored..." Levei responded as he picked up a book from the nightstand.

"No time for reading! We've got to go start training!"

Before Levei could respond, Zack pulled him up from the bed, and dragged him out of the room.

* * *

Outside of the Shinra building, Zack began leading Levei to a nearby monster-infested area.

"We should be okay, just a little further," Zack pressed, unaware that monsters started noticing their presence.

Suddenly one jumped in front of Levei.

"Don't worry!" Zack exclaimed, reaching for his sword. "Uh..."

"...what?"

Zack slowly turned to Levei with a smile and scratched the back of his head. "I think I forgot my sword back at Shinra...heh..."

* * *

Standing nearby on the phone, Ryiah ranted to the person on the other line. "Yeah, he was totally okay with it, can you believe this guy?! Well, we'll see how long he lasts without some back up, just wait until the kid unleashes their true potential," she said with an evil smile. "What? Why am I bothering you? Why am I bothering _you_?! Tseng you jerk!"

She abruptly hung up and pouted.

* * *

The first monster that jumped out stared at the two, taking slow, methodical steps toward them.

"Don't panic, don't panic, he's dumb...uhh..." Zack looked around frantically and found an umbrella nearby. "I'll just have to use what I've got..."

He got the monster's attention and killed it swiftly. "Yeah!" He turned to take Levei's hand to start running, then, when he turned back around, was met with a large hoard of monsters. "This...is going to be a problem...You can fight, right?"

Within seeing distance, Ryiah was bent over laughing. "A-a-an umbrella? You must be joking! Where is he even taking the kid? I thought he was ordered to keep them on grounds...hm..."

"Who's protecting who here?" Levei asked.

"I'm protecting you, but..."

Levei sighed and pulled out his phone. "I hope I have that girl's number..."

"Girl's number? Jeez kid, you move fast...you've been here for, what, five minutes and you're already pickin' up chicks."

Killing another monster, Zack turned to Levei and noticed he had taken off his gloves. "You have some...feminine hands there."

"And you have a feminine face."

"What?!"

Suddenly a monster lunged for Zack, but Zack realized too late. Just as it was about to strike, Ryiah appeared and pushed the monster out of the way.

"Surprise! I _knew_ you needed me!"

"Needed you?! What are you talking—_that girl_? How could you do this to me, Twiggy? I had it under control."

Another monster lunged for Zack as he hung his head.

Ryiah was ready and shot it once with her gun, instantly killing it.

Zack looked up. "H-hey...I was gonna kill that!"

"A gun is more trust worthy than an umbrella," Levei noted.

"It's an umbrella that was being used by a professional!" Zack countered. "...what did you say anyway?"

Ryiah held up her phone. "'Assistance is necessary. '"

"Ah, come on!" Zack leaned back covering his face with his hands.

"It's not like I was _really_ leaving you alone with the kid...that would be most inappropriate, right Twiggy? Plus..." she added with a whisper-shout. "I think he has a little crush on you."

Zack looked flustered. "Wh-what?! Don't joke like that!" He side glanced at Levei.

"I have better things to do," Levei replied simply.

"Okay...you're very shady..." Zack said to Ryiah.

"I won't deny that, I am a Shady Lady by reputation." She winked. "Now let's get back to HQ. I think it's Twiggy's nap time."

"Hey, I thought you were here to observe, this is _my_ mission."

"Okay, Zack, what should we do? I have _observed_ that Twiggy looks mighty sleepy."

"We're going to the market," Zack said, narrowing his eyes. "I need to pick up some earrings."

"Oooh, do you have a _girlfriend?_" Ryiah teased.

"No...they're on sale."

"'Nap time' isn't necessary," Levei said.

"Oh, don't fight it," Zack said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I remember my first week...I caught up on a lot of sleep." He smiled. "Well, let's get there and get back so we can all rest."

"Great! I needed a break from all this work." Ryiah wiped her forehead. "I'm off to get something to eat~! See ya!" She turned to leave.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?!" Zack exclaimed.

Ryiah glanced at him over her shoulder. "Hmm?" She grinned.

"I mean...you really should stick around...I'm sure you're contractually obligated or something."

"Someone forgot to bring their sword," Levei added.

"Hey! I'm just as good with just an umbrella! ...but...you can stay to make him feel better." Zack put a hand on Levei's shoulder.

"Awh, you guys!" Ryiah rushed over and put an arm around the two, awkwardly reaching one arm up for Zack and trying to keep a tight grip on Levei who tried to get away.


	2. I'm a Hard Working Man, Work for My Fans

**Chapter Two:**

**-** _I'm a hard working man  
And I work for my fans_

"I don't know if we really should be in the boys' barracks..." Ryiah muttered as the group of three arrived back at Shinra Headquarters.

"...these are the _only_ barracks," Zack pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose it's nothing I haven't seen before." She winked at Levei before opening the door. "Cover up, boys, I'm coming in~!"

Inside sat a single infantry man with Chocobo hair.

"Wow...this is kind of disappointing..."

Zack stretched. "Hey Cloud," he said to the infantry man before turning to the other two. "I'm going to organize my equipment. Sit tight."

Levei walked over and sat on the end of the bed Cloud sat on, without looking at him.

"Are you new here, too?" Cloud asked.

Levei looked at him. "I'm the newest project."

Ryiah started nonchalantly looking through the drawers of a nearby dresser, while listening to Cloud and Levei.

"H-Hey, what're you doing?!" Zack exclaimed.

"Shh, quiet, just pretend I'm not here."

"Who do you think you are?" Zack asked, trying to take the clothes out of her hand and shove them back in the drawer.

Ryiah struggled. "I'm _trying_ to clean up, this place lacks a woman's touch. These clothes aren't even folded."

"Because guys like it that way," Zack said with a glare. "It's a manly thing, right Cloud and Twiggy?"

"Right Zack," Cloud agreed.

"How would you know?" Levei asked Zack.

Zack glared at Levei before turning back to Ryiah to make sure she wasn't taking any more clothes out.

Cloud turned back to Levei. "Oh really? New project? That's pretty cool. Do you feel powerful and...stuff?"

"No just tired...of them." Levei pointed to Ryiah sneakily folding some of the clothes and Zack trying to pry it from her hands.

Cloud nodded. "I can only imagine...but I didn't see any new beds for you..."

"I have my own room."

"What? Why didn't you say something sooner?" Zack asked.

"I told you we shouldn't be in the barracks..." Ryiah said.

Zack glared at her.

"Oh, does that mean you're leaving?" Cloud asked.

"Probably, but I can stay and keep you company if you like," Ryiah said.

"Huh?"

"Turks aren't supposed to be this...social," Zack pointed out.

"Tseng tells me that all the time." Ryiah sighed. "'Just stand in the shadows, Ryiah, watch silently and invisibly.'" She shook her head. "He gets so mad when I ruin his undercover operations."

"Uh...that's why they're called 'Under Cover'..." Zack raised an eyebrow.

"What...are you guys doing, anyway?" Cloud asked.

Zack turned to him and smiled. "Good question, recruit. It's a top secret, important mission, which even has the interest of our very own Genesis."

"Wow, Genesis? Really?"

Ryiah sighed happily at his name. "That's the reason I signed onto this mission. My goal is to meet and befriend Genesis...to become closer to a hero." She clutched her heart. "It's my life goal to marry and bare the children of a hero, playing a crucial part in their legacy."

"A hero? You mean...Sephiroth?"

Ryiah involuntarily squeed. "Sorry, but he's _so_ dreamy! You have to admit, eh, Twiggy? You know what I'm talking about."

"So no plans of yourself becoming a hero? How sad," Levei commented.

Zack crossed his arms. "A woman? As a hero? Haven't heard about many of those..." He glanced at Ryiah. "I mean, not that it's...impossible...just..."

"You have such a way with women, Zack," Cloud said with a playful smile.

"Heh..." Zack said scratching the back of his head. "Anyway..."

"Yeah right, like I want all that responsibility," Ryiah said. "Besides, us Turks are on the side lines, never the main character."

"_I'm_ going to be the main character someday," Zack said.

"Yeah, the kind that dies in the end," Ryiah amended.

"H-hey! I am not!"

"Don't worry, I'd come to your rescue," Cloud reassured him.

"Nah, I'll be the one to come to _your_ rescue."

"And I'm sure Twiggy will be the one to save the day, yadda, yadda, yadda," Ryiah said with a roll of her eyes. "When's lunch?"

"Lunch was..." Zack glanced at his watch. "About an hour ago..."

"Oh no!" Cloud jumped up. "I thought it was still early!"

"Cloud, calm down, I was just kidding."

"Oh..." Cloud slowly sat down. "Okay...I don't have any missions, so..."

"He's still a rookie," Zack said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but you promised to take me out with you sometime, to train."

"Hey, yeah." Zack glanced at Levei. "Now's a good a time as any, right?"

"It's a date," Ryiah agreed.

"Wh-what?" Cloud stuttered.

"Oh, so you think it's like that, huh?" Zack asked with a smile; he put his arm around her shoulder.

Ryiah raised an eyebrow.

"I...don't think that's what she meant, Zack..." Cloud said.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, that's absolutely what I meant...oh wait, you're not a hero, are you? You don't have any noteworthy accomplishments?" Ryiah clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Darn, guess you're not really my type."

"I have many note-worthy accomplishments! I'm a soldier first class!"

Ryiah shrugged. "So, we going?" She glanced at Cloud. "I'm Ryiah, by the way, nice to make your acquaintance."

She reached out a hand and shook his.

"Oh sure, you're polite and civil to him," Zack said in a bitter tone.

"He has a good aura about him...like he's going to make something of himself some day. Gotta get 'em when they're young."

"Can you believe her, Twiggy?" Zack asked.

"Twiggy?" Cloud repeated, looking at Levei.

"My involuntary nickname."

"Oh..."

"I'm waiting for an apology!" Zack said impatiently, glaring at Ryiah with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry..." she reached up to put a hand on Zack's shoulder and looked into his eyes. "That I don't find you attractive as a man."

"...as a man? What's that supposed to mean?!" Zack exclaimed, brushing off her hand from his shoulder.

Ryiah shrugged. "Maybe if you were a woman—I don't have time to explain this!"

"I am enough man to satisfy every woman in this building."

"But Zack, this building is mostly men...we have maybe one or two women, like the scientists and..." He glanced at Ryiah.

"We don't have time for your silly 'pointing out the obvious' things, Cloud!"

"Sorry, Zack..."

"Challenge accepted," Ryiah suddenly said.

Zack did a double take. "Wh-what? What challenge?!"

"You said you could satisfy every woman in the building, let's see it."

"It was an expression! Are you serious?!"

Ryiah pointed to her straight face. "This is my joking face." She pointed to her face with her other hand. "Which is coincidentally my sarcastic face...which means, yes, I am serious."

Cloud laughed. "I'd like to see you find a way out of this one, Zack."

"Fine! I'll take your challenge!"

"...that's...not what I was expecting..."

"Okay, Cloud, you're about to get a whole lot of lessons. Rule number one: Always do the unexpected."

"Even if it's the wrong thing to do?"

"Exactly," Zack said as he glared challengingly at Ryiah.

"I think he's misquoting 'expect the unexpected'," Cloud pointed out, then noticed Zack was still glaring. "I think we lost him..."

"I don't believe he was ever here," Levei amended.

Ryiah suddenly took Levei's arm. "This ought to be good, eh, Twiggy?" She started to head out of the room.

Zack jumped up in front of them and opened the door, flashing a strained smile. "Ladies first."

"Why thank you kind sir," Ryiah said, holding an arm out for Levei. "Twiggy."

Zack lost his smile. "Can't you see I'm trying here? Don't give away my affections to some kid!"

"Sure thing, boss." She nodded as Cloud stepped through the door Zack held open.

Zack followed them with a confident smile.

"Shh, we're approaching the first victim," Ryiah said, pointing to the receptionist.

"Move aside," Zack commanded, pushing past them. "Watch closely, Twiggy, you'll see just the kind of man who was assigned to protect you."

"Ya hear that, Twiggy?" Ryiah said.

Zack walked up nervously to the woman. "Hey there...whatcha doin'? Pressing buttons on your computer...and stuff?" He flashed a smile.

"Oh, hi Zack! It's been a while, you should stop by and say hi more often. We just got two new members to your fan club this morning. Isn't that exciting? They can't be as big of a fan as me, though! I'm you _number one _fan!"

"O-oh...yeah, that's great news! Who-who are they?"

"Two girls, I don't know the details yet."

"Girls, huh? Good to hear...hey, if I were to, uh, give you this earring, would you say it would satisfy you?"

"As your number one fan, it sure would!"

Zack smiled and took out his earring and handed it to her. "Can you say that a bit louder?"

"Wow! Zack Fair's earring! This sure does satisfy me!"

A couple Soldier members walked by and gave Zack a confused look.

"That was creepy..." Cloud muttered.

Zack tapped the desk and smiled, then walked back to the group with a smug expression.

"Your defense was just cut in half," Levei said.

Zack's smile slowly disappeared. "What?"

"You only have one earring in, and that was the main source of your defense."

"What are you—"

He suddenly had his sword at Zack's throat. "Hmm..."

Zack laughed and pushed the sword away. "Good one, Twiggy."

Levei blinked a couple times, then slowly lowered the sword. "Yeah...just kidding..."

"Man, Zack, you are just too easy," Cloud said.

"That's what she said," Zack said with a smile, then a frown. "Wait..."

Ryiah laughed. "Burn!"

Zack narrowed his eyes at her.

"Three to go."

"Three? I got this!"

"You can do it, Zack," Cloud encouraged.

"Onto the _mako_ research center, right after we eat. I don't want Twiggy to turn into T.P.B.W.," Ryiah said.

"T.P.B.W.?" Cloud asked.

"'Tissue Paper Blowing in the Wind'," she explained.

"Isn't that name kind of...long?"

"You got a more suitable one, kid?"

"N-no..."

Cloud looked down, ashamed.

* * *

After lunch, the group walked toward the research laboratory to continue making progress on the challenge Ryiah presented.

"Are you really doing this, Zack?" Cloud asked.

Zack suddenly turned to him. "Are you really questioning the judgment of a Soldier from first class?"

"Um...no...but..."

"Then it's settled!" Zack turned and continued walking.

"Nothing was settled..."

"This will teach us lessons of what not to do as a first class Soldier," Levei explained.

Zack's shoulders slumped.

"Maybe you could learn a thing or two about picking up the ladies," Ryiah commented.

"I don't need any help," Cloud said.

"Oh, is that so?"

Cloud looked cocky for a brief moment. "I actually have a girl back home."

"She sounds like a beez," Ryiah said with a shake of her head.

"...yeah...yeah, you're right," Cloud muttered, his face downcast. "She's all I got..." he sobbed.

"Shh! You guys are ruining my concentration!" Zack exclaimed. He took a deep breath and casually walked into the research lab with a confident smile.

The research lab people, masks covering half their faces, looked up and saw Zack.

"So which one of you is a woman?" Zack asked.

"...is that the question he should be asking if he's the _only_ one not wearing a mask?" Ryiah asked, as her, Cloud and Levei watched the scene unfold from behind a glass window.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked.

"It's a research laboratory...where they do experiments...with toxic chemicals. They're wearing masks for a reason."

The three watched as Zack was hurriedly shooed out of the room.

He pushed open the door and rejoined the group.

"So...how did it go?" Cloud asked.

"It went...well...The lady told me if I left, she would be satisfied...and that I should come back in a few days for a follow up examination...I guess I was exposed to some pretty unstable isotopes or something." He shrugged.

"Two more!" Ryiah waved the peace sign with a wink.

"Hey, yeah! I told you I could satisfy everyone!"

"Not so fast, buddy. I'm one of those two, and I'm not so easily satisfied."

"That's what she said," Cloud said.

"Who? Your beez girlfriend?" Ryiah retorted.

Cloud frowned. "I...don't know if I want to answer that."

Levei shook his head.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to step it up." Zack smiled and ran his hand through his hair, leaning to Ryiah. "What can I do to satisfy you?"

"That's rather forward of you." Ryiah blushed with a giggle, turning away shyly.

Zack smiled for a moment before she turned back to him with a completely serious face and handed him a piece of paper. "I have a list."

"I just got chills..." Cloud muttered.

"A list?" Zack scanned over the paper. "There's only one thing written on here."

"Oh, sorry, that's just the cover page." Ryiah pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to him.

"You've got to be kidding me...somehow I feel I got tricked into this..."

Cloud opened his mouth to respond, but was quickly quieted by a glare from Zack.

"Most of those are reserved for my lover," Ryiah said, clutching her heart. "So I'll make it easy on you. I'll narrow it down to one." She held up one finger.

"What would that be? I already gave away my last earring, so..."

"I want a date."

"That's it? Tch, that's easy, let's go!"

"With Sephiroth."


	3. I'll Be Ready in an Hour, Jump in Shower

**Chapter Three:**

_**-**__I'll be ready in an hour  
Jump in the shower  
Crisp and clean  
Now I got the power_

Zack stared at Ryiah, trying to think over her request: A date with Sephiroth. Cloud and Levei watched Zack curiously to see how he'd react.

He frowned. "I don't know how that's going to work out...he's busy..."

"He doesn't have time for ridiculous requests," Levei added.

"How do you know?" Zack asked with a suspicious glance. "Don't tell me...you're one of those obsessive fans..."

Cloud laughed slightly. "He just called you a fangirl."

"Hands off, Twiggy, he's mine," Ryiah warned, narrowing her eyes.

"Fanboy just didn't seem right," Zack added with a grin.

"Fanboy is a term, I have many fanboys," Ryiah announced.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Zack said with a roll of his eyes.

Ryiah leaned over and grabbed Cloud's arm. "See, there's one right here."

"What?" Cloud sputtered nervously.

"See, he's blushing at my touch, he's totally smitten with me. Sorry buddy, my heart belongs to someone else."

"Y-you're hurting me..."

"There's no way I can get Sephiroth to agree to go on a date with you. Give me another thing off the list. Anything," Zack pleaded.

"Anything?" Ryiah grinned.

Zack paused to think. "Hm..." He looked through the list. "A lot of these are fairly reasonable...but I doubt you'd pick any of them..."

"Sounds like he's finally coming to his senses..." Cloud said.

"So I'll get you that date. You can count on me," Zack said pointing to himself with his thumb and a smile.

"...and there it goes..." Cloud shook his head.

"And how are you going to do that?" Levei suddenly asked.

"I have connections."

"Wow, what brought on this sudden acceptance? I guess I'm pretty persuasive, huh?" Ryiah asked with a smile.

"You have a plan, right Zack?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, yeah!"

Cloud looked at Zack's confident smile with a worried expression.

* * *

Later that night, Levei sat on his bed, reading a book. Sometimes he'd get distracted by little things in his new room, like an abstract picture on the wall. He couldn't quite make out what was on it, but would stare at it as if seeing something that wasn't there.

He saw his brother Genesis, the famed SOLDIER at Shinra, encouraging him through hard times.

He saw the long hours of training at Shinra at an early age (under the table, of course).

He saw the researchers talk about the potential he had, being a sibling of Genesis, and the pain in which the experimentation put him through.

He had just turned back to his book when Ryiah burst through the door of the bedroom in her usual fashion of not waiting for a response.

"Twiggy, thank goodness you're here, I've been looking all over for you!"

"It's ten o'clock, and everyone is bed...where else would I be?"

"Not in the men's bathroom apparently," she responded, pausing in thought. "I've come in to check up on you. You know...off the record." She stared at Levei for a moment and took his hand in hers. "We need to have a girl talk."

"Girl talk?" Levei repeated, still holding his book.

"You know, I feel we have a connection, being the only two girls in this men-controlled society...well, in Shinra...okay fine, we're the only two girls out of you, Zack, and me...and that wimpy blond kid. Why is he such a pansy?"

"Most likely he was raised as a girl for the first years of his life, and he never recovered."

"I feel I can relate to him a little more now...I, too, was raised as a girl for the first few years of my life..." Ryiah waved her hand dismissing the thought. "Anyway, how are you holding up? I know things must be awkward pretending to be a man with those stick arms of yours. I mean, you can't compete with all these buff, muscular, meaty, oiled, succulent—wow I just got really hungry."

Levei stared at her. "Okay then...I can see this is going to take some time..." _she_ sat up and put down _her_ book, turning to Ryiah. "I don't need to compete just yet. And I'm just glad Zack and Cloud are too dense to realize I'm a girl."

"You're a girl? Oh my gosh!" Ryiah mocked a surprised face, then grinned. "Just kidding, I'm glad you brought up _that_ person. He's actually the reason I'm here." She stared at Levei expectantly.

"What did he do now?" Levei asked, and waited for an answer. "...what?"

Ryiah's smile became sympathetic. "You can talk to me, it's okay." She pulled out a moogle and handed it to her. "Show me on the moogle, where did he touch you?"

The moogle made an angry noise and squirmed out of her hands. "I'm a licensed surgeon, kupo! I will not stand for such disrespect!" He angrily flew out.

"What?!" Levei exclaimed angrily. "No one touched me anywhere! Can we just please get to the point of why you're here?"

"I was worried about you, ya know, how you were adjusting? It's just the first day and, well, there are bound to be a few awkward moments since everyone here thinks you have a—"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Go away, I'm changing!" Ryiah yelled.

"Sorry! ...wait, Ryiah? Why are you changing in a man's bedroom?!" Zack exclaimed from the other side of the door.

"What are _you_ doing at my door in the middle of the night?" Levei asked.

There was a pause, then footsteps walking off.

"Thank you for your 'concern', but we both know you have other motives, so just drop the charade and move on," Levei said.

The footsteps came back and there was a knock at the door.

"He was coming in to watch you sleep!" Ryiah whispered.

"Who?" Zack opened the door. "Are you being threatened, Twiggy?"

Ryiah covered herself, despite being fully clothed. "I didn't say you could come in yet!"

"Ah!" Zack covered his eyes.

Levei sighed. "What do you want?"

"Right." Zack still covered his eyes as he tried to walk forward. "So I was just wondering—" Before he could finish, he tripped over a stool and fell to the ground.

"What are you doing spying on us?!" Ryiah exclaimed.

"I wasn't spying! I was...coming to check on the kid, it's my mission after all."

"That's a lazy excuse, you pervert."

"Don't accuse me of things like that! Hey, what are _you_ doing in a boy's bedroom at night?!"

"A boy's bedroom...oh, we were just making out."

"What?!"

"Just kidding~!"

"Perverts never prosper," Levei commented.

"I'm not a pervert!" Zack said, picking himself up. "This has to be against some rules..."

"You coming here? Probably."

"No! I meant her!" Zack pointed to Ryiah.

"Well, you checked on me, I'm fine. And _you_ checked on me and I'm fine. Everyone is fine. Now can I please go back to my reading?"

"Yeah, yeah." Ryiah narrowed her eyes at Levei. "This conversation isn't over...wait, what were we talking about?"

Zack felt around for Ryiah, his eyes still covered, and pushed her out of the room. "We'll be leaving...I'm down the hall if you need anything."

"And I'll be...hey, they didn't give me a room!"

"You don't live here, go home!"

* * *

The next day…

Zack walked out into a treeless courtyard, spotting Levei sitting on a bench reading a magazine. "Heya Twiggy," he greeted, approaching the girl in disguise. "What're you doing out here alone? I thought I told you to wait for me."

Levei answered without looking up. "I recall you saying something, but I decided it was best to follow my own instincts."

"Which said?"

"Not to wait."

Zack sighed and sat down next to her. "What'cha reading?" He glanced over Levei's shoulder. "Oh, a swimsuit magazine, huh?" He smiled sheepishly. "The girls in those are pretty cute, huh? Where'd you get this, anyway? Steal it from Ryiah or something?"

"No, it's mine," Levei said, blankly.

"Not embarrassed, huh?"

"A little."

"Yeah?" Zack grinned

"Yeah, because you're still here."

"So..." Zack looked back to the magazine. "Which one's your favorite?"

"I don't know…"

"Come on, I know they're all pretty, but everyone has a type."

"I guess I kind of like the white one," Levei said, unsure.

"Most of them are white," Zack pointed out.

"What? No… most of them have some white in them, but they're all really different."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were so sensitive about that kind of thing."

"I'm not, just don't generalize something you know nothing about," Levei snapped.

"Hey now… I know some stuff about it!"

Levei raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tch, I've had my fair share of attention from women in bikinis. I mean… I'm not an expert but…" Zack glanced at the magazine again trying to change the subject. "Now her, in the pink with the flowers, she's a looker."

Levei followed his finger. "Eh… that bikini shows too much skin."

Zack looked at Levei, dumbfounded.

"That one's a little better…" She pointed to an average looking girl wearing a skirt and tank top.

"That's your type, huh? I would have pegged you for more of a leg man…"

Ryiah popped out from behind the bench. "Leg man? Twiggy is a boob man all the way."

Zack jumped. "How long have you been sitting there?!"

"Long enough to know which bikini _not_ to wear around you."

* * *

Zack walked into Levei's room, knocking on the door. "Hey, Twiggy?" He looked around, realizing the room was empty but continued to walk further inside despite the fact.

"Man, this is _not_ how I would have guessed his room would look… he's so put together but his room is a mess! Look at these clothes, who knew a guy could have so much stuff…" Zack said to himself, before noticing a little lacy thing sticking out from under a pile of socks. "What's…" He picked it up.

"What is this?!" He held up a pair of what appeared to be lacy underwear. "This _has_ to be against the regulations." Zack grinned widely. "Maaan, when would the kid find time to bring a girl back to his room… I thought I was with him 24/7… although he's not here now." He paused in thought. "What a player."

Ryiah slipped in the room silently, spotting Zack holding the panties. "Oh no…" She paused half a second before screaming.

Zack spun around.

"What are you doing with _my_ panties?!" Ryiah demanded.

"_Yours_?!"

"Yeah… I've been keeping some of my stuff here so I don't have to go back and forth from HQ all the time… yeah," Ryiah said, unsure.

"I guess that makes sense…" Zack spoke slowly.

"Why are you still holding them?!"

"Sorry!" Zack put his hands up, dropping the underwear.

Levei entered the room. "What are you two doing in my room?"

"Zack was just admiring _my_ panties that _I_ left laying around where people could just wander in and pick them up." Ryiah narrowed her eyes at her.

"That's nice, please make sure you take a look at the other personal possessions my room conceals on your way out." Levei moved to the side and pointed out the door.

Zack shook his head. "You guys are weird."

"If I'm missing anything… I'm tracking _you_ down." Ryiah glared at Zack.

Zack kept his hands in the air. "I didn't take anything!" He shouted before running away.

Levei shut the door behind him. "I think I should invest in a lock… or a transfer… I wonder which one would be harder to get."

* * *

Walking toward the shower area, Levei wore just a towel wrapped around her, covering her from the top of her chest down to her knees.

Zack walked by at that moment, also, wearing just a towel. "Hey there Twiggy," he said, smiling at her a little longer than necessary. "I...uh...you heading in?"

"No, this is how I normally dress."

"Heh...hey, why are you so covered up? Are you embarrassed that your chest isn't as broad as mine?" He flexed and jumped as some Soldiers walked by. "Whoa, sorry, I kind of expect that Turk chick to jump out any second."

"She tends to do that. But you should be less jumpy. Not very SOLDIER like."

Zack smirked. "I guess I should be prepared for anything, right?"

Levei nodded and started in another direction.

"Where are you going?"

"I have my own bath."

"First your own room, now your own bath? Man, you must have a lot of money, or know someone very important..."

Levei smirked.

"Well, see ya on the other side." Zack shrugged it off and walked into the bath.

* * *

A little later in the locker rooms, Cloud sat pulling on his shirt when he noticed Levei walk into the room full of Soldier men. "Oh hey...Twiggy, right?"

Zack looked up, shirtless. "You're not ready to go yet? You have to shadow me on my missions today, get dressed! ...unless you came in here to ask for help?" Zack laughed.

"There is a lot of armor to put on..." Cloud muttered.

"No, I don't need help, just making sure you weren't breaking anything."

"Me? Break anything?" Zack laughed again.

"Actually, Zack, that sounds pretty spot on," Cloud said.

Levei smirked and walked into a separate room labeled 'Reserved'.

"Oh hey..." Zack noticed something on the ground and picked it up. "A belt? This must be Twiggy's. He must have dropped it." He stood up and walked over to the room, pushing the door open. "Twiggy, you forgot —what?!"

"Rude!" Ryiah walked out and pushed Zack out of the room. "Get out of here you jerk! Didn't your mama ever teach you how to knock?!"

"What are _you_ doing in the men's locker room? How did you get in here? Why are you in Twiggy's dressing room?!"

"Too many questions," Ryiah responded, closing the door behind her. "I'll answer one. I'll let you choose."

"You can't be in he—"

"That's not a question."

"Fine...what are you doing...here?"

"Staring at that shirtless man." She gawked at a shirtless Soldier. "Yum."

Zack hit his head with his palm.

The soldier noticed her staring and confidently walked by. "Try not to be jealous," he whispered to Zack.

"What?! I...you..." He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "I can't win."

Cloud walked up to them. "Hey, what are you—"

"No!" Zack exclaimed, covering Cloud's mouth. "Ask why she was in Twiggy's room! I already wasted my question of what she was doing here."

"Oh...kay? Why were you in Twiggy's room?"

"We were swapping childhood stories."

"Don't lie!" Zack exclaimed.

"Fine, he needed my help with his uniform, okay? He's a little embarrassed so he didn't want to ask you."

"So he asked _you_ instead?! But you're...ya know..."

"A girl," Cloud finished.

"I'm a _what_?!" She grabbed her chest. "Where did these things come from?!"

Cloud blushed and Zack narrowed his eyes.

"Um...sorry I asked..." Cloud muttered.

"Yeah, Cloud, look what you've done," Zack said, pointing at Ryiah.

Levei walked out of the room. "Don't blame Cloud for that. He didn't bring her here."

"Thank...you?" Cloud said.

"I see you got your uniform on correctly."

"I see you've yet to put on yours. Showing off?" she asked.

"You know it." Zack smiled and posed.

Ryiah looked Zack over and shrugged. "Meh."

"What do you mean 'meh'?!"

"Twiggy~!" Ryiah suddenly hugged Levei. "I missed you soooo much!"

"I don't think he likes that," Cloud mumbled.

"I'd hug you instead, Blondie, but well...I don't want your towel to fall off."

Cloud looked down at his towel and blushed furiously.

"Well, no use in standing around while a lady waits, men!" Zack exclaimed.

"Don't you mean Cloud and you? We're ready," Levei said, pointing to her and Ryiah.

"Right...Cloud, come!"

"I'm not a dog..." Cloud muttered, following Zack to change.

"Come on, Twiggy, it's better if you don't see this," Ryiah said.

"Huh? Why not?" Zack asked.

"You _want_ him to watch you get ready?" Cloud asked.

"He has...uh...low self esteem, it's not good for him to compare himself to other men," Ryiah explained.

"It's true, if I stand here with you two for much longer, my self esteem will get much, much better, and it's hard to control someone with high self esteem and too much confidence. Just look at Zack," Levei said.

Zack smiled at his muscles. "I think they're getting pretty impressive, don't you?"

"I rest my case."

Levei followed Ryiah out.

"Zack, you always pick the worst times not to pay attention…So where are we going, anyway?" Cloud asked.

"I am teaching both you and Twiggy a few things about being a Soldier, of course!"

"Sounds...vague..."

* * *

"That was close, Zack almost walked in on you!" Ryiah exclaimed when the two got out of the door. "Good thing I was there, huh? There to witness the beauty that is Shinra soldiers...topless...with all their manly, toned, sweaty, juicy, fragrant—hey we should get steak for lunch!"

"What's with you and comparing men to meat?" Levei asked. "Wait, forget it...I'd rather not know..."


	4. Jump to the ceiling, Jump what a feeling

**Chapter Four:**

**-** _Jump  
to the ceiling, ceiling  
Jump  
What a feeling, feeling_

"… and make sure you smile, smiling is always good," Zack instructed, expertly flashing a smile as an example.

Cloud held up a large beach umbrella, unsure. "I don't know how this will help me in battle."

"It's all fan service, have you never heard of 'charming an enemy'?"

Ryiah lounged on a beach chair nearby, adjusting her over sized sunglasses allowing the sun's bright glare reflect off them. "I wish I knew we were coming out here. I would have brought a bikini." She sighed, looking into the ocean's waves longingly.

"You weren't invited," Zack said, harshly.

"It's hot in this uniform… we _should_ go swimming, don't you think, Twiggy?" Cloud glanced nervously towards Levei for confirmation.

"I think this training is of the utmost uselessness and therefore taking a break from this would be equal to taking a break from another break," Levei pointed out, not amused.

"Sweet!" Cloud began to remove his heavy armored infantryman top.

"Wait, Cloud, what are you doing!?" Zack exclaimed.

"But he said—"

"You're shadowing _me_, not _him_, so focus on what _I'm_ saying!"

"Yes, Zack…"

Ryiah grinned at Cloud. "I won't object…"

Zack looked between her and Cloud. "What is this? You stare at him but not me?"

"…you sound upset."

"Of course I—"

Cloud whapped Zack with the umbrella. "Oops, this thing's heavier than I thought."

"Zack! Be careful!" Ryiah gave a purposefully delayed warning.

"… thanks," Zack said, rubbing the back of his head making the Turk smile.

"Yo, Twiggy, how's the _mako_ treatin' you? You're looking better… not so… anti-social."

"Hm? Oh, glad I'm warming up to you guys," Levei said, unconvincingly.

"Yeah, same here!" Zack patted her on the back. "You'll be up and running around like me in no time!"

"Please… don't tease me… I have so much to live for."

Zack smiled to himself as he slowly replayed what happened in his mind. "Wait, what?"

"Zack can we please go swimming? It'll help… with training!" Cloud said.

"I want ice cream," Ryiah declared.

"And I want everyone to continue with training, but you don't see that happening do you? Not everyone always gets what they want." Zack frowned at her.

"… but… but."

"What, are you gonna cry? … hey, wait, I'm sorry, don't do that! Don't cry! I hate it when girls cry!"

Ryiah grinned, wiping off her tearful expression as if on command. "Ice cream?"

"I … like ice cream," Cloud agreed, shyly.

"After you two get this technique down…" Zack looked between Ryiah and Cloud.

"Well, that's the point of us being here: to train. So let's go," Levei said, annoyed.

"Yeah! I like that enthusiasm!"

Cloud struck a determined pose. "Okay, Zack, I'm ready!"

"Okay!" Zack took the umbrella from his friend.

"Something tells me this is not conventional…" Levei said.

"Activating combat mode," Ryiah spoke in a robotic tone, making Zack spin around, in search of an approaching enemy. "Sorry, I just always wanted to say that."

Zack stepped up to her, leaving Cloud and Levei further on the beach swinging two additional umbrellas. "You should leave, you're a distraction."

"Just don't look at me."

"I'm not worried about me, more about… that kid." Zack glanced pointedly at Cloud.

Cloud looked up at Ryiah a few times, as if to make sure she was watching.

"Ah, I see… I think I understand," Ryiah said, standing up. "I actually have some matters to deal with so… I trust you'll keep the kid safe while I'm away? Oh and keep an eye on Twiggy and Cloud too."

"Yeah, yeah… wait, who's the kid if… hey!" Zack shouted.

Levei blocked Cloud's attempt to strike her and looked up, spotting Ryiah walking off the beach.

Cloud looked at Levei, following her vision. "Where is she going…?"

"Zack probably offended her."

"He tends to do that…"

Zack wandered back over to his trainees. "Finally, got rid of the Turk," he said, twirling his umbrella in high spirits.

"What'd you say to her? Is she ever coming back? She's not going to try and… get revenge or something, right?" Cloud interrogated. "I've heard things about Turks… you don't want to be on their bad side."

"She had some things to take care of, don't worry about it."

Levei watched Zack carefully.

"So, let's continue! How are you guys doing on that technique?"

Levei demonstrated the "Smile while Smiting" technique perfectly before stabbing the umbrella into the sand. Cloud followed her example, also performing the technique flawlessly.

"Good… job… I thought it was more difficult…" Zack frowned, surprised.

"Swimming time!" Cloud exclaimed.

"I guess that girl really _was_ distracting you two… huh, wha'da'ya know," Zack noted, following Cloud into the salty waters.

"You not coming in, Twiggy?" Cloud called back as he began to wade.

"Nope."

"Aw, come on!" Zack invited.

"No thanks."

Zack frowned but quickly turned it into a smile. "I order you to, as part of your training."

"No, really… no," Levei persisted.

Zack walked over to her, not breaking eye contact. "It's a mission."

"Hmm…now that you put it that way… no. What are you-?!" Levei exclaimed as her feet left the ground.

Zack held her in his arms. "Forcing you to do your duty!"

"Zack! Put me down!"

"Sorry! Can't hear you!"

"Zack!" Levei screeched as she was thrown into the water.

* * *

Ryiah entered the Turk headquarters, walking boldly up to Tseng and wrapping her arms around his waist as he scanned some computers, unsuspecting. "Did you miss me Tseng, baby!"

Tseng didn't move, holding his stiff standing position. "You're late, where have you been?"

"I'm on an assignment, to observe that _mako_ experiment, remember?"

"Right… and have you found anything worth telling me about? Or is this another one of your useless entrances?"

"Useless? What's that supposed to me?! I _love_ you Tseng, and you call me useless!" Ryiah shouted, releasing her grip in anger.

"You do not love me," Tseng stated, straightening his suit jacket.

"Yes I do, I really do. I love you like a mentor… which means I have a secret hate and contempt for you always telling me I'm not good enough…" Ryiah turned away dramatically. "I'll show you, one day Tseng, baby."

"I wish you would stop adding 'baby' to the end of my name."

"Oh yeah, I found out a secret about your boy Zack~! Do you want me to tell you? You have to guess first!"

Tseng turned to face her. "I am not guessing. If it is important, I demand you tell me. If not, leave me to my work."

"You're no fun… you haven't seen me in how long and this is how you treat me?"

"32 hours, I haven't seen you in 32 hours, and it's been wonderful."

"You jerk! That's it, I'm _not_ going to tell you that Zack doesn't use a hair brush, see how you like that!" Ryiah crossed her arms, glaring at Tseng.

"… that is what you had to tell me? I already knew that, you're useless."

* * *

Levei bobbed back up out of the water, gasping for breath. "My armor is too heavy… I can't swim with it on."

"Man up, solider!" Zack shouted, laughing.

"If I could choose a moment to kill someone, it'd be now and you."

"Aw, thank you." Zack slowly ran through the water to Levei to hug her.

"No!" Levei shouted, trying to escape the embrace.

"Zack, please don't kill him…" Cloud said, watching from the sidelines.

Zack reached her with his arms extended but tripped on a conveniently placed seashell, tackling Levei into the water.

Cloud covered his face. "This is the end of Zack, Soldier first class."

"When I get out of these clothes, I'm going to kill you Zack Fair!" Levei gurgled.

Zack laughed, trying to regain his balance. "That's if you're able to."

"… and the end of Twiggy, the mysterious man," Cloud continued.

"My name isn't Twiggy it's—" Levei tried to correct, but was dunked under the water again by Zack's large hand.

"We have to keep the mystery alive!" Zack declared.

"… please be more careful! Zack… he's still pretty weak from the _mako_." Cloud flinched.

"Oh yeah," Zack said, letting Levei come up for more air. "Sorry about that…"

Levei took control of the situation and dunked Zack with an evil smile, and paused for a few seconds. "Think I should let him up yet?"

"Mm… nah." Cloud smiled slightly, watching the seconds pass by.

Zack struggled fruitlessly to escape Levei's iron grip on his hair.

"I probably shouldn't kill him…" Levei finally sighed, releasing the solider.

Zack spoke through deep breaths. "I guess… I probably… deserved… that…"

Levei and Cloud nodded in sync.

"I think you two got a real work out today." Cloud smiled. "Too bad I couldn't join the fun…"

"You want in?" Zack grinned, reaching for Cloud.

Cloud took a step back and lost his balance, reaching out to Levei, grabbing into the front of her armor. He made a disturbed face and continued to grab the soldier, not feeling the solid iron plate he had expected. "What is that… do you stuff your armor? Is that padding?"

"… What are you doing, Cloud? Let go of him," Zack said.

Cloud let go and gave Levei a weird look. "Sorry about that… I tripped."

Levei slapped him across the face, sending Cloud flying back into the water.

"I… uhh…" Cloud flinched, confused.

"What was that for?! What a girly slap!" Zack shouted.

Levei took a step forward and slapped Zack as well.

"What are you doing!?"

"Making it even."

"Sorry… Twiggy… I… it was an accident." Cloud stood up, hair dripping.

Zack shook his head at the two. "You both are a couple of girls."

* * *

"I'll show you… one day I'll have information that's actually useful to you," Ryiah told Tseng, determination in her voice.

"Try collecting information on the _mako_ female you were _assigned _to observe," Tseng said.

"Who? … oh right, okay, I'll try that next time."

Tseng turned away, back to his computers.

"I'm just teasing you, there are no new updates on Twiggy, and I just wanted to have something to return to you with… I just wanted you to be proud… because, I care what you think, Tseng… baby." Ryiah grinned.

Tseng sighed. "You're very manipulative, Ryiah. Please tell me what you came here for."

"Just a hug~!"

"Ryiah."

"And I need a pass code for the Shinra research data base, I need access to a certain schedule…" She cleared her throat, trying to be inconspicuous.

Tseng turned to her with an eyebrow raised.

"The details aren't important…"

"You already have a pass that should allow you access to all Shinra data useful to you."

"I know but… not the schedules of the… higher ranking soldiers," Ryiah persisted, tugging on her jacket sleeve.

"You'll just have to make do. Now return to your assignment," Tseng said.

"Fine, maybe I'll just return to my assignment, you'd like that wouldn't you!"

"Yes."

"I just have to grab my bikini and I'll be off."

"… your bikini?" Tseng questioned softly.

"There are a lot of soldier guys… you know what, it's none of your business!" Ryiah shouted before storming out of the room.

"… bikini?" Tseng repeated to himself.

* * *

Cloud took a deep breath. "Okay, I think I got enough water time… my hands are starting to prune…"

"I think we've got enough training in… don't you?" Zack asked.

"It'll never be enough." Levei shook her head.

Zack smiled. "That's the spirit."

Levei frowned and looked down into the rippling water. "… I think my armor is stuck on something."

"What?"

Levei tugged on her pants, trying to pull it free. "Hm…" She said before diving into the water.

Ryiah waltzed back onto the beach, now sporting a leopard print bikini. "Hey guys~ Did'ja miss me?"

"Yeah." Cloud grinned sheepishly.

Zack pushed his head down. "You're back already? I thought you were gone for good."

"Har har, very funny… hey, where's Twiggy? I wanted his opinion on my bathing suit."

"I'll give you _my_ opin—"

Ryiah cut him off. "No one cares."

Zack frowned. "Twiggy's right…" He spun around. "Twiggy? Oh crap…"

"What do you mean 'oh crap'?" Cloud asked.

"He said his armor was stuck and he had to… shoot!" Zack dunked his head to look below the water. "Where did he go?!"


	5. Always got me feelin' that healin'

**Chapter Five:**

**-** _Always got me feelin' that healin'_

"… what do we do?" Cloud looked around frantically.

Zack brought his head out long enough to take a deep breath before diving completely under.

Cloud glanced at Ryiah nervously. "He'll… be right back…" He tried to flash her a reassuring smile.

"You're trusting _him_ to save her?! Go do something Blondie, you're my only hope!" Ryiah waved her arms at him from her place on the sand.

"R-right!" Cloud spun around, unsure of what to do.

"What a dork…" Ryiah mumbled to herself, spotting the top of Levei's armor floating further down from where Zack went under. "I knew I wore this bikini for a reason." She expertly dove into the water in the direction of the armor.

Cloud watched the graceful dive with admiration.

Zack bobbed back up. "I can't find him!"

Cloud pointed over to where Ryiah was currently dragging Levei up onto the beach.

"Twiggy!" Zack jogged over to Ryiah and pushed her out of the way. He took Levei's head between his hands. "Twiggy! You can't die on me now!"

Ryiah prepared herself to let Zack have a piece of her mind when her attention was stolen by Genesis, who happened to be strolling down the beach in his sharp red swimming trunks, his nose buried deep in his worn copy of Loveless: The Comic Book. Her focus diminished to nothing but a topless Genesis.

"Twiggy! Hey, help me! What're you doing!?" Zack shouted to Ryiah, in panic.

Cloud ran over, out of breath from uselessly spinning in circles. "T-Twiggy? What happened? Is he okay?"

"I-is that… God?" Ryiah mumbled, nearly incoherent. "Oh no! It's the angel of death, come to take Twiggy!"

"Twiggy, snap out of it man!" Zack begged.

Zack placed his ear close to Levei's open mouth, checking for any signs of breathing, but came up empty. "Shoot… Okay guys, give me some room." He turned his head, eyes closed, preparing himself to began mouth to mouth with who he thought was another man.

"Oh god." Cloud flinched as Zack began the CPR. "Mouth on mouth with a dude… This guy is determined." He glanced at Ryiah.

"It's kind of romantic," Ryiah mumbled, still hypnotized by Genesis who was nearing the group.

"R-romantic?"

Genesis, sensing someone starting at him rudely, glanced up from his book involuntarily. "I can't go anywhere without attracting unwanted attention… wait, those are men from solider."

"Oh my gosh, Blondie!" Ryiah dug her nails into Cloud's arm. "He's looking at me!"

"Come on man… don't do this," Zack whispered, as he pumped Levei's chest. He finished the sequence and placed his lips back over hers, filling her lungs with air once again.

"That looks like Angeal's 'puppy'." Genesis laughed to himself at his use of the word. "He's supposed to be…" His eyes widened with the realization and he quickly ran over to the group.

"I think we have more to worry about than… oh my gosh, that's Genesis." Cloud froze, saluting as the superior man approached them.

Zack ignored Cloud's outburst and continued with the CPR until Levei finally sputtered up water in a fit of coughing.

Zack sighed with relief. "Thank God…" He sat back, falling on his elbows and saw Genesis glaring down at him with hate filled eyes.

"What are you doing to my sister?!" Genesis demanded.

"Sister?! I—"

"I didn't want to give you this mission but Angeal assured me you would do better than expected. I don't know if that says a lot since I didn't expect anything, but for you to make a move on her is unforgivable!"

"Genesis, I didn't do anything! I had to give … her… CPR so she wouldn't die!"

"So you weren't trying to get with her… you tried to _kill_ her?! Is that better?!"

"No, it's not like that!" Zack jumped up off the ground, waving his arms in defense.

Cloud continued to salute as Ryiah continued to stare to awe.

Genesis grabbed Levei's arm, pulling her up off the ground. "I'm taking you home, I knew the experiments would be too much for you, I should have never allowed any of this."

"… Delicious…" Ryiah breathed.

Genesis' eyes snapped to the Turk. "Remove your eyes from me unless you would rather I remove them from _you_!"

The threat brought Ryiah from her trance. "Ryiah Swafether, Turk operative at your service." She bowed.

"A Turk, huh? And you let this happen? Forget it, none of you are useful enough to do a simple mission."

"Hey, wait!" Zack took hold of Levei's other arm. "I didn't even know he was a girl until now!"

"That changes nothing. I already knew you were an idiot," Genesis insulted.

Zack frowned. "Look, her armor got caught and that's why she went under. But I saved her, and she's fine. I would never let anything happen to… her…"

Genesis looked at his sister, who returned his gaze with a blank stare. "No, it was all his fault," she said.

Zack's mouth dropped in surprise.

Levei's smiled a little. "My armor did get caught and Zack did save me… and he also thought I was a boy, so he wasn't trying anything… calm yourself, Genesis."

Genesis narrowed his eyes at Zack.

"Wait… back up a second, you're a … girl?" Zack asked as if the realization had just now sunk in now that the threat to his life had passed.

"Now you're insulting her?" Genesis fumed.

"No, no wait! There are no women allowed in solider… let alone being experimented on." Zack pointed at Levei. "Why's she an exception? What's going on here?!"

"That's why we couldn't tell you she wasn't really a boy, right Genesis?" Ryiah grinned at him. "It's top secret." She winked at Zack. "I'm supposed to make sure no one finds out… it could cause problems if word got out about this experiment."

"And now that it has, this is going to come to an end," Genesis continued.

"What do you mean?" Zack questioned.

"You failed."

Zack spiraled into oblivion.

"Actually," Ryiah held up a finger. "You're the reason word got out…"

"How dare you," Genesis said, almost offended.

"But only the four of us know so… the words not _really_ out, couldn't we just keep this a secret?" Cloud offered.

"Who are _you_ to question me? You're not even part of soldier; you're barely a rookie."

"I'll have you know, I'm almost level 3! … I just have a little bit more training to do."

Levei spoke up. "Actually, this is as good as leaked. Zack's a pretty big gossip girl, he can't wait to tell he's finally kissed a girl."

"What!?" Zack exclaimed.

Cloud snickered. "It's true…"

"I'll have you know that I have swooned many women! I have my own fan club!"

"Enough!" Genesis dismissed. "We must return to Shinra and speak with Angeal and Sephiroth to figure out how to deal with this."

"What?! Why get them involved? They have nothing to do with this!" Zack yelled.

"… they're my support group," Genesis said.

"S-Sephiroth? Hey," Ryiah touched Genesis' arm. "Do you know if he's seeing anyone?"

Genesis looked up to the sky. "Why do I get myself into these situations?"

"Wait, before we go, I need to change! I can't let him see me like this… on the first date… awh, who am I kidding. Maybe I should just start off nude." Ryiah shrugged.

"No!" Everyone shouted in protest.

"Aw man, Angeal's going to be so mad…" Zack hung his head.

"Don't worry, Zack." Cloud put a hand on his shoulder. "He won't kill you… he wouldn't want to get his sword dirty."

"Thanks… Cloud…"

"Do you get to choose your support group, Genesis?" Levei wondered.

"No, it just happens," Genesis said.

Levei looked from Ryiah to Zack to Cloud, then towards the sky. "Why me?"

Cloud glanced at Genesis. "Definitely siblings."

"My one chance at relaxation…" Genesis slipped his book into a pocket. "And this happens."

"I could give you a massage?" Ryiah offered hopefully.

"Let's go, we'll meet you down there, Genesis." Zack pulled her away, hoping to become closer to Genesis' good graces.

* * *

Back at headquarters, Zack and Ryiah stood together outside the room in which Genesis and Levei were meeting with "The Panel".

"I can't believe this… A girl." Zack shook his head, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

"I'm more than just a girl." Ryiah winked at him. "I'm a woman."

"Not you!" Zack snapped. "After all the things we've been through… I shared things, guy things…"

"Like how to use a urinal without getting pee on the floor?"

"I feel so… betrayed." Zack cringed.

"Hey, don't feel bad, I was surprised when I first found out Twiggy was a girl too… I remember it like it was yesterday…" Ryiah trailed off, playing over previous events in her head.

"_A mission, huh? You mean I get to spy on soldier guys while they work out and train and sweat and… do sexy man things?" Ryiah gushed._

"_No, you'll be observing a female." Tseng said, stopping her potential nosebleed._

"_What, a girl?! I can't believe it! What the hell is—"_

"Awh… bad memory." Ryiah shuddered, back in the present.

"That's nothing like this!" Zack shouted.

* * *

Inside the meeting room, Levei sat with her brother and his two best friends.

"… and that's when I came in and stopped it," Genesis finished the explanation of the day's earlier events.

"Technically Zack saved me when he gave me mouth-to—" Levei started to point out, but was interrupted by her brother.

"Please, don't remind me." Genesis grabbed his temple.

Sephiroth flipped his long hair, allowing it to sparkle in the florescent lights slightly. "This is quite the problem."

Angeal sighed and shook his head. "Zack, Zack, Zack…"

"What should we do?" Genesis wondered aloud.

"I can watch myself," Levei stated.

"That is out of the question… although at this point, you are more trustworthy than… him…"

"Was there a question of that before?"

"You versus a first class solider? Perhaps that _mako_ has gone to your head."

Levei rolled her eyes. "So what's the verdict?"

The three men exchanged glances.

"You will stay under Zack's care until we tell you otherwise," Sephiroth explained, matter of fact.

"There is the matter of secrecy…" Angeal pointed out. "Zack isn't the best at keeping things… to himself."

"Perhaps we can persuade him… with a threat." Genesis smiled.

"What did you have in mind," Sephiroth asked, taping his finger tips together.

* * *

"Zack, can you keep a secret?" Ryiah asked, stepping up to Zack who was still against the wall pining over his newly learned information.

"No."

"If we don't make it out of this alive, I want you to know…" She reached up and took Zack's hand. "I think you look fat when you cry," Ryiah's speech became quicker. "But don't tell anyone!"

"What kind of secret is that?! I thought you were going to admit your attraction to me! Hey, you've never seen me cry!"

* * *

Levei made a face as Genesis finished explaining himself. "Really? That's your threat? Are you going to tell him that or should he just go ahead and kill himself before hand?"

"It's the only way. He'll start to see things our way." Genesis sighed.

"If you say so…" Levei stood up without waiting for instruction and opened the door. "You guys can come in now."

Zack stared at her as Ryiah slipped past him into the room. Once the two were inside, Levei shut the door and returned to her seat.

Ryiah looked around the room at the statuesque faces staring back at her. "Be cool Ryiah, be cool," she told herself softly.

"Who are you speaking to? I am always 'cool'," Sephiroth said, trying to ease the tension.

"Way to go, Sephiroth." Angeal grinned slightly.

"Have a seat," Genesis invited.

"O-on the floor, or? Where?" Ryiah bowed nervously, clearly star struck.

Angeal gave her a funny look. "Why don't you give this chair a shot, huh?"

"Oh okay!" Ryiah plopped herself into the seat extended to her.

"After careful discussion—" Genesis began.

"Wait! Before we start, can I just say." Ryiah turned to Sephiroth. "I'm a _huge_ fan."

Sephiroth showed his best fan-service smile. "Thank you."

Genesis and Angeal rolled their eyes.

Levei glanced at Zack, who was now avoiding eye contact.

"As I was saying…" Genesis glared at Ryiah then turned to Zack. "After careful discussion, we've decided to not kill you."

"I… don't understand, what?" Ryiah frowned.

"What's not to understand?"

"Uhm… the part where, all of it." Ryiah nodded.

Angeal spoke slowly. "We're going to let you live."

"On one condition," Sephiroth added.

"Yes, I _will_ bear your children!" Ryiah exploded. Her phone rang and she quickly drew herself back to Earth. "Crap, sorry I have to take this…. Hello? I think you have the wrong number… Tseng? Tseng who? … Tseng, baby? Perhaps? Oh hi Tseng, baby! The mission… pull it together? What's that supposed to—right, I understand… yes, got it." She saluted before hanging up the phone. "Sorry about that, where were we?"

The men stared at her, unsure how to react.

Levei nodded. "I agree, pull it together."

"As I was saying…" Genesis persisted, yet again. "You both, for the time being, are spared."

"And what was the condition?" Zack looked to Sephiroth.

"You continue your services and watch Levei," Sephiroth answered.

Zack turned to the girl. "And I'm guessing that's you."

"Guilty," Levei said.

Zack turned back to Sephiroth. "That's it?"

"And if you do not, you will be removed from SOLDIER."

"Removed?!"

"However you'd like to be removed, I'll help you." Genesis smiled.

"How does this concern me? I could care less if Zack here get's 'removed'," Ryiah pointed out.

"Hey! Thanks a lot." Zack frowned.

Ryiah shrugged. "What about the word getting out Twiggy here is a female? How do you plan to address this situation?"

"Since it hasn't 'gotten out', seeing as the Turks already know, and Zack and that infantry man are the only two that know outside of us, we are going to place trust in those two. There is nothing more we can do at this point other then assure you if anyone talks, heads will roll," Angeal explained.

"Not with his sword, of course," Levei added.

"Of course." Angeal nodded in agreement.

"Good enough, I suppose…" Ryiah paused in thought.

"So, what now? We just continue as it was before? Me protecting… Levei? And the Turk getting in the way?" Zack asked.

"I resent that remark."

"Yes, unless you feel you cannot handle it?" Sephiroth tested.

"I have my doubts," Genesis said.

Angeal put a hand on Zack's shoulder. "You can do it, Zack. Don't let me down, protect her with your honor."

"Yeeah, get _on her_! Oh wait, you already did!" Ryiah teased making Genesis flinch.

"Heh…" Zack scratched the back of his head. "Like I said before, she was dying…"

"Or was I just taking a nap when I was attacked?" Levei smiled evilly.

Zack glared at her.

"If that is all, I will be leaving." Sephiroth stood up.

"It was nice meeting the three of you." Ryiah stood up as well, holding out a hand.

"Likewise, though I didn't get your name." Angeal reached for her hand.

Ryiah pulled it away and reached closer to Sephiroth. "Ryiah Swafether, Turk operative."

"Don't let me hear about this again." Sephiroth gave Zack a warning glance, ignoring the outstretched hand.

Genesis stood up also, walking over to give his sister a brief hug, whispering to her, "If anything goes wrong, you have to trust Zack to help you through it."

"If anything goes wrong, I'm sure it'll be Zack's fault," Levei whispered back.

Genesis pulled away and looked at her with a sigh and a smile. "I know."

Levei walked over to join Zack and Ryiah as the three heroes left the room.


	6. Phony Roni Pony Baloney

**Chapter Six:**

_-She's no phony, she's my roni  
And she would always like to ride my pony  
That's right no baloney_

"So, where to?" Ryiah asked Zack and Levei after their meeting with Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal.

"The mess hall should be serving dinner right now." Zack rubbed his stomach. "Which means you should leave."

"I know right, with a figure like mine you would assume I never eat anything. But I assure you, I can eat just as much as you!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Shh, Twiggy wants me there, right ol' girl?" Ryiah took Levei's hand.

Levei looked between Ryiah and Zack. "I have no comment."

Zack glared at the Turk.

"I would watch out, Zack Fair's glares are legendary. They are very rare."

"I feel honored." Ryiah yawned, staring at Zack who was still glaring.

"You should!" Zack agreed.

"Who can I talk to around here to get a room?"

"Why don't you just ask to share with Sephiroth?" Zack threw his hands up.

"I can do that?!"

Zack smacked his face with his open palm.

"Just don't react like that and you should be fine. He likes calm people. Just look at who he's friends with… and who he's not…" Levei side glanced at Zack.

"Please… don't ask him… I can't trust you not to use my name and we'll both be in trouble…" Zack pleaded.

"Can I share with you, Twiggy? I feel like I need to be closer to you… and I don't want to return to Tseng every night empty handed."

"I've done a lot of missions with Tseng watching me, and he's never needed a place to stay, or been so obnoxious," Zack noted.

"Well that's obvious, you've clearly never had a sleep over with him." Ryiah shook her head.

"Somehow I don't think you have either…"

"Oh." Ryiah laughed. "You'd be surprised."

"No, I don't think we would be," Levei said.

Zack sighed. "So that means you're coming with us?"

"Would you rather be alone?"

"I feel like I'm being babysat…"

"_You_ feel like you're being babysat? _I _am being babysat…" Levei cringed.

"Believe it or not, Zack, I'm on a mission here just as much as you, and I actually play a very important role," Ryiah declared.

"I choose not to believe that," Zack said.

Ryiah shrugged. "Suit yourself, but it doesn't change anything."

A soldier ran into the room. "Zack! There you are! There's been an emergency, don't you ever check your phone!?"

"You mean this?" Ryiah pulled out Zack's phone from her pocket. "I was wondering why it kept buzzing."

"Hey! Gimmie that! When did you take it from me!?" Zack yelled.

"I was trying to feel you up earlier but you didn't notice, so I grabbed your phone."

"When were you…" Zack blushed slightly.

"I'm just kidding~ you dropped it earlier when we went to the beach."

Zack grabbed his phone back and scrolled through the messages:

_"Zack, need help."_  
_"Zack, please come help!"_  
_"Zack, you suck."_

Zack looked at the soldier, "Hey!"

"I figured if I insulted you, it'd get your attention."

"Well, joke's on you because it didn't work."

"What's the emergency?" Levei asked.

The second cleared his throat. "There's been a string of missions overtaking the system and not enough soldiers on duty to help, we need you to take care of a few of them and lighten the load."

"Good, while you're off doing that, Twiggy and I will go get our hair done," Ryiah said.

"Are you kidding, Twiggy's coming with me!" Zack shouted.

"Awh Zack, look at her face, she wants her hair done _so_ bad, don't break her little heart."

Levei stared at them with a blank expression and Zack grabbed her arm. "Look, she's my responsibility and she follows me, not you."

"What kind of missions are they?" Levei asked.

"Tonberry missions."

"I hate tonberries…"

"Aw man, come on! Those aren't real missions!" Zack whined.

"Well, there is one other mission… issued by Sephiroth. Everyone's afraid to take it," the soldier said slowly.

"I'm on it! What is it?!" Ryiah all but grabbed the soldier by his shoulders and shook him.

"Oooh no, I don't want that one either." Zack shook his head furiously.

"We _have_ to, it's our responsibility as women," Ryiah said.

"I'm not a woman."

"Speak for yourself."

"I am…"

"Details please?" Ryiah pulled out her phone. "Got it, we need to go to the store."

"The store?" Zack repeated.

"Let's go, Twiggy."

"No, wait! You can't just accept a mission for all of us!"

"Looks like she just did," Levei pointed out.

Zack sighed.

"The sooner we get through this mission, the sooner we can go back and get dinner."

"Man am I hungry…" Zack held his stomach, trying to stifle a growl. "Okay, fine."

Ryiah opened the door and Cloud jumped back as if he'd been listening.

Zack walked out after Ryiah, spotting the guilty Cloud. "Cloud? What're you doing here?"

"I wasn't listening in I… forgot something in there and…" Cloud began to blush.

"Oh gosh, are these _yours_?" Ryiah held up a pair of jeweled sunglasses. "I almost sat on them! You should be more careful." She handed them to Cloud.

"Oh… thanks… yeah, these are mine…"

"I didn't peg you for a rhinestone type of guy." Zack laughed. "Oh yeah, Cloud, about what happened earlier… it goes without saying you need to not tell anyone about Twiggy here." Zack patted Levei on the head and she glared up at him.

"Of course." Cloud nodded.

"You working on a mission?"

"No, they haven't assigned me anything yet."

"Well good luck to you, they'll assign you something eventually." Ryiah waved Cloud off.

"I uh, actually… I was wondering if I could tag along with you guys?"

"You want to come? Are you sure?" Zack glanced to Ryiah. "Do you know what you're asking to join?"

"I learn a lot shadowing you, Zack… I hope to be as strong as you one day." Cloud went for the flattery approach.

"Yeah?" Zack flashed a cocky grin.

"Wow, he's good," Ryiah noted.

"So easily swayed." Levei shook her head.

"Well, alright, you can come since it would be harmful to your education and training not to come with the great Zack Fair," Zack said, striking a pose.

Levei clapped slow and sarcastically.

"Thanks Zack, I won't let you know." Cloud smiled and saluted.

"So what exactly is this mission?" Zack turned on Ryiah, crossing his arms.

Ryiah narrowed her eyes at him. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Did you not hear me just ask you?"

Another nameless soldier man walked by, speaking with his friend. "Yeah man, he was so happy I finished it so quickly. I never thought I'd get to see Sephiroth genuinely smile."

"You're the man, man! You've got some balls taking on Sephiroth's personal mission!" his friend congratulated.

"I knew I could do it." The solider grinned as they passed.

"What? No! No, no, no!" Ryiah cried, looking at her phone. "That jerk completed the mission before me! And got to see Sephiroth smile!"

"Oh… darn… well there goes that mission." Zack held back a smile.

"On with the tonberries?" Levei offered.

Cloud wrinkled his nose. "Ew, tonberries?"

Zack flipped through his phone, muttering. "These aren't real missions…" He looked up at his friends. "Hey, since that mission is already done, shouldn't we go eat now?"

* * *

Zack stood in the entrance to the mess hall, backed by Levei, Ryiah and Cloud. He frowned at the lack of soldiers filling the tables and the small amount of food waiting to be served. "We're either really late, or really early…"

"We're both," Levei stated.

"So… we're right on time?" Zack fist pumped. "Sweet!"

Levei shook her head.

"I hope we're not late, there is never any food left…" Cloud sighed.

"Wow this is the soldier mess hall, huh? I expected more, seeing as it's run by Shinra…" Ryiah commented. "The Turk HQ has its own five star restaurant, it's amazing… but this…" She made a face.

"You should, uh… invite us over for dinner," Zack suggested.

"What's in it for me? Huh? How rude, being the man aren't _you_ supposed to invite _me_ to dinner?"

"Why do you think we're here?!" Zack waved his arms in front of him.

"You told me to leave!" Ryiah shouted back.

Zack scratched the back of his neck. "Oh yeah…"

"It was habit I'm sure, I'm guessing he hears that a lot," Levei said, being the first to take the initiative to grab a plate and begin to fill it.

"Hey!"

Cloud nodded in agreement and followed suit, picking up a plate.

"Hmm…" Ryiah glanced over the food. "So what here is exactly… edible?"

"The soup is good." Cloud smiled at her.

"That's _soup_?! I thought it was dish water!"

Cloud sniffed the bowl in his hands. "At least I thought it was soup until you said that…"

"What looks good to you, Twiggy?" Zack asked the girl.

"You do," she responded, blankly.

Zack couldn't help but smile. "Well thank you, I have been working out."

Levei rolled her eyes and continued to fill her plate.

Cloud shook his head in disappointment. "So easily distracted…" He turned to Ryiah with a shy smile. "Just… go for the things that are a pretty safe bet. Like Twiggy's food here." He pointed to her plate which was sporting a mountain of dinner rolls.

"Bread is hard to get wrong," Levei agreed.

"I've seen it happen before!" Zack interjected.

"Were you the one making it?"

"… maybe…no… maybe."

Levei turned and walked off, taking her bread with her.

Zack leaned into where Levei was standing moments before. "Where do you think we should sit, Twiggy?" He turned, seeing the girl was gone. "Levei?" Zack spun around and spotted her making her way to the tables. "Hey, wait up!"

Cloud looked at them, then over to Ryiah with a nervous smile.

"Don't give me that look, Blondie."

Cloud stopped smiling. "Oh… sorry."

"Come along, we have work to do." She pinched Cloud's sleeve and dragged him along with her.

"Where are we going?" Cloud questioned as he watched the cafeteria pass out of view.

"What part of 'we have work to do' don't you understand?"

"… well, most of it to be honest… what kind of work do we have together?"

"Are you dumb or something? My goodness! No wonder Zack hates you—"

"Zack doesn't hate me…"

* * *

Levei chose a clean table and took a seat, setting her mountain in front of her and plucking a plump roll off the top.

Zack sat down next to her, flashing a friendly smile. "You excited to go on a mission?"

"If you remember your sword."

"That was a one time thing… it, uh… taught you to always remember your weapons!"

"Oh wise one, tell me more," Levei said, sarcastically.

"Yeah? Finally, someone who 's interested in what I have to say! Okay," Zack straightened himself up. "It's crucial to always carry at least ten potions on you at all times." He pointed his chopsticks at Levei. "Sure they're heavy, but you never know when you might need 'em."

"Go on."

"And if you're in a group, bring a couple of Phoenix Downs; you shouldn't have to carry your team mates, but it's all part of team work."

"Uh-huh." Levei nodded.

"And … uh… that's all I prepared for meal time…"

"Am I getting the rest as a bed time story?"

Zack snapped and pointed at her with a smile. "Great idea! I'll write them down!" He pulled out a notepad and began to write.

* * *

"Okay, just stand there, like that," Ryiah instructed, watching Cloud stand flat up against the wall outside the research facility. "Oh and put your helmet on so no one can tell your identity." She reached out to position his arms so they were crossed in front of him. "Now remember if anyone asks… you're on guard for a top secret—you know what, just make up the rest."

Ryiah used a key card to enter the room as Cloud continued to 'expertly' guard the door.

Sephiroth, unsuspecting, strolled up, his long hair flowing out behind him. "Good evening, infantry man."

Cloud nodded once before doing a double take on the inside of his helmet.

"Is there a reason you are standing so close to the research facility store room?"

Cloud shook his head slightly.

"Then perhaps you should get back to your duties."

Cloud nodded slightly before running away.

* * *

"It sure is quiet in here, it's nice, huh Cloud? … Cloud?" Zack looked around, just now noticing Cloud was not there. "Where'd he go? And where's that… _Turk_, didn't they sit down with us?"

"No," Levei said, continuing to eat.

"Looks like Cloud finally got her attention." Zack smiled. "Awh yeah, good for him."

Levei shook her head.

"What? Are you jealous? Got a thing for the little blonde rookie?"

"No."

"Oh, I see, you must like the brunettes like yours truly."

Levei turned suddenly, putting her face uncomfortably close to Zack's and stared into his eyes. "Yes, Zack, you are my type. I knew I couldn't fool you. You are just too smart."

Zack froze for a second in shock at her closeness, but quickly composed himself, leaning back with a smile and nod. "I knew it… you're right, I am smart. Thought you could pull a fast one on me, eh? No way!"

Levei pulled back and rolled her eyes.

Cloud ran in and sat down, slamming his head down on the table and covering it with his hands.

"There you are… where have you been? Why do you have your helmet on?" Zack questioned.

Cloud slipped off his helmet and continued to look down at his hands. "I had to… use the bathroom."

"Oh… wait, that doesn't explain why you were wearing your helmet."

"… I'm shy, I didn't want anyone to look at me… when…" He glanced at Levei before quickly looking back down, changing his response. "My ears were cold and…"

"You know what, forget I asked," Zack said.

"Where's the other one?" Levei asked.

"I… she… he… uh…" Cloud stuttered.

"Slow down, just tell us calmly."

"She made me do it but I couldn't!"

"What are you talking about Cloud? Made you do what?" Zack persisted.

"Where is she?" Levei demanded.


	7. Mastermind

**Chapter Seven:**

**-** _Mastermind  
Just feel my heart  
So beast_

Ryiah stood in the dimly lit store room, shuffling through a high stack of boxes. "What is this crap, this isn't what I want! There's just a bunch of boxes full of test tubes and beakers!"

Sephiroth slipped through the door. "What's going on here?" he asked, calmly.

Ryiah spun around at the sound of his voice. "Ah yes, I've been expecting you Sephiroth, first class soldier from the North…" she said in her most professional voice. "It's about time you've come to replace me… I'll be on my way, I have other important matters to attend to." She nodded and squeezed past him into the hall.

"… I'm not from the North."

* * *

"And you went along with it?" Levei asked, after Cloud finished his explanation.

"Well… she wanted help… and, I was there to help?"

Zack shook his head. "Such an embarrassment…"

"I'm sorry Zack! I failed!"

Ryiah sat next to Levei, yawning as if she'd been there the whole time. "Someone pass the salt."

Zack jumped. "When did you get here? And why do you need salt? You don't even have food!"

Ryiah shrugged. "I thought that was a common statement to make at a dinner table. Anyway guys, you're never going to believe this." She grabbed Levei's hand in excitement. "I'm… in love!"

"Wh-what?" Cloud stammered.

"We know, you've been checkin' me out this whole time," Zack said, matter of factly.

Levei handed Ryiah the salt with her free hand.

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed.

"What? I was just saying what we were all thinking!"

"Who are you in love with…?" Cloud questioned softly.

"None of your business! … wait, sorry, habit." Ryiah shook her head.

"That's not a habit, that's the first time you've said that," Zack pointed out.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Ryiah squeezed Levei's hand. "Aren't you going to stand up for me, Twiggy? I've been like a sister to you, after all."

"It's true, we've already had long conversations, long walks on the beach, long missions…" Levei nodded.

"But it hasn't been that long…" Zack said.

"Huh… must just feel that way…"

"Are you in love with one of those research guys?" Cloud continued.

"You brought it up, so finish it!" Zack looked pointedly at Ryiah.

"Well… if you _really_ must know, it's someone the three of you know very well… He's handsome and smart and—"

"It's Sephiroth," Cloud finished.

"Let me tell my own story!" Ryiah hit Cloud on the hand.

"We already knew you were a Sephiroth fanatic! … wait, how'd you know she was talking about Sephiroth when she said handsome and smart? That sounds way more like me," Zack said.

"I'm perceptive; I knew those are the words she would chose to describe him. It's not that _I_ personally think Sephiroth is handsome and smart."

"You're awfully defensive," a voice sounded from behind Cloud.

"It's true! I think Sephiroth is ugly a-and unintelligent!" Cloud tried to convince them.

"Is that so?" Continued the voice.

"Uh… Cloud?" Zack whispered.

Cloud turned slowly, realizing Sephiroth was standing behind him, an evil smile playing on his lips.

Levei turned to Sephiroth. "Don't blame him, he's been around Zack for too long."

"Hey!" Zack protested. "What are you doing here, Sephiroth? I've never seen you join your fellow soldiers down here in the mess hall."

"I have no need to eat this garbage, I have a personal chef that caters to my room only," Sephiroth said.

"Yep, it's defiantly love." Ryiah swooned.

"I am down here on the suspicion of theft. Some important documents were stolen from the storage room this afternoon and on further inspection, proven by my own witnessing of events, you," he pointed at Ryiah with a gloved hand. "Are in possession of these documents."

"_Her_? When were _you_ in the storeroom?" Zack questioned, surprised.

"Cloud told me to!" Ryiah pointed to Cloud.

"I had nothing to do with this!" Cloud defended.

"You are just as much a part of this as I am! See, he has the papers in his pocket right now!"

Cloud pulled out a wad of papers from his uniform. "When did you put these in here?!"

Ryiah winked at him.

"Some soldier… can't even guard his own pockets." Levei shook her head.

"Come on, Cloud! You're making us look bad!" Zack flinched.

"I'm sorry! I just … wanted to help, and, I don't know!"

Sephiroth held out his hand expectantly. "I would be much obliged if you would give those back."

Cloud glanced between Ryiah and Sephiroth. "I, uh…"

Zack took the papers. "Important information, huh? All these say are 'Please don't forget to turn off the lights'."

"That is a very important message for the research team's eyes only!" Sephiroth snatched the papers and stormed off, flipping his hair over his shoulder.

"Why did you take those?" Zack asked Ryiah.

Ryiah shrugged. "I wanted his autograph and I needed paper… but when he came in I got so nervous I had to run away."

"I failed… I might as well turn in my helmet…" Cloud sighed.

"Technically you succeeded, and technically this wasn't a mission, and technically you shouldn't listen to her at all." Zack pointed at Ryiah who rolled her eyes.

"Right!" Cloud said with a fist pump of determination. "I swear from here on out, I won't take anymore orders from her!"

"Cloud! I demand you kiss me right now! I just can't take this sexual tension any longer!" Ryiah gushed.

Cloud looked between Zack and Ryiah repeatedly, conflicted. Zack face palmed.

"I was only teasing you, Blondie. Don't start hyperventilating or anything or Zack might try and give you CPR," Ryiah said, turning to whisper to Levei. "I hear he likes to kiss other men."

"Looks like you found a new gay best friend," Levei commented.

Zack glanced from the girls to Cloud. "I don't like the way they're looking at me…"

"Just pretend you don't notice," Cloud told him.

Zack whistled casually and looked around the mess hall awkwardly as Levei stood up to put her tray away.

"Oh you." Ryiah giggled and hit Zack on the arm playfully. "So sassy."

"Sassy? Hey, yeah… Not usually the term chicks use when they're into me, but I'll take it… Zack, sassy." Zack smiled in thought.

"Do you know what that word means?" Cloud laughed at him.

"Witty? Sharp tongued?"

"Gay-boy-fabulous?" Ryiah offered.

"Gay?! I'm not gay, I'm as straight as this sword!"

"I don't know Zack…" Cloud teased.

"What evidence do you have?! I've put my mouth on a woman's mouth!" Zack shouted, pointing at Levei who was just returning. But after Zack's statement she quickly turned and walked away.

"That doesn't count… and don't say that so loud! Genesis might hear you," Cloud warned.

"Wow, that's all it take to determine you're straight?" Ryiah said, pondering this.

"Don't think too hard, I don't want to know what your mind could create out of that." Zack shook his head.

Cloud glanced at Ryiah shyly, "I've… I've put my mouth on a—"

Zack cut him off with a glare.

"…never mind."

"I don't like where this is going." Zack said, standing up. "Mealtime is officially over!"

"This was… fun," Cloud said, unsure as he followed Zack out of the cafeteria.

"Glad someone thought so…" Zack glared at Ryiah over his shoulder.

"Actually, it was pretty lame compared to the meals at the Turk HQ… man, we've had some good times, me and Tseng…" Ryiah began. "Our picnics… romantic lunches on the beach…"

"Somehow I think these are all delusions her mind has created," Zack told Cloud.

"Delusions? That's a big word." Cloud clapped slowly. "Way to go, Zack!"

Zack missed Cloud's sarcasm. "Hey, thanks! I got one of those 'word a day' calendars… that one wasn't one of them, but I've got a lot of words in my arsenal!"

"… is that one of them?"

"No, that's a military thing, you wouldn't understand."

"… I wouldn't?" Cloud frowned.

"… and that time we ate on the roof… and in our tree house that we built together… and..." Ryiah continued.

"Is she still going?" Zack asked.

"What's next on the agenda?" Cloud tried to change the subject.

"Don't you have training?" Zack said, looking at his phone. "I gotta take a trip to the Slums, come on Twiggy, you can keep my company."

"… and that time we flew to Grand Pulse…"

"Now she's making up places…" Cloud shook his head.

Zack turned to Levei, realizing she hadn't been there for quite some time. "Shoot…"

"Hey Zack, what happens when someone fails a mission?"

"I wouldn't know…" Zack said slowly, trying to sort out where Levei could have disappeared to this time.

"… and when—" Ryiah stopped talking as her phone rang. "Hold that thought… Hello? Oh, hey Tseng, baby… what, I'm not telling lies about you… how did you know!? Are you," Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Watching me? Don't you trust me?!" And with that she hung up in frustration.

"You're being observed too? I didn't know Turks observed other Turks… it's like a never ending chain," Cloud said.

Ryiah sighed. "I'm on probation apparently, for sleeping with the best friend of my last target."

"What?"

"I'm just kidding." Ryiah pinched Cloud. "Don't look so hopeful!"

"I'm not hopeful!" Cloud protested, trying to fight a blush.

"Okay, we need to go get Levei and head out!" Zack glanced to Ryiah. "You coming?"

Cloud looked hopeful.

"I thought she said not to look hopeful!"

"I'm not hopeful… I just… need help training," Cloud lied.

"You want _me_ to help you train?" Ryiah asked Cloud before turning to Zack surprised. "You're inviting _me_ to go with you and Twiggy? I feel so loved! But who shall I choose…"

"It wasn't an invite… I was just trying to avoid any nasty surprises like you popping up at the worst possible moment," Zack corrected.

"I tend to do that, huh?" Ryiah nodded in agreement before turning to Cloud. "I will help you train… if you do something for me."

"Anything!" Cloud burst out.

Zack elbowed him in the side and muttered. "Be cool, man."

"Oh right…" Cloud cleared his throat. "What do you need?"

Ryiah took his hand. "Let me… show you." She grinned at Zack before dragging Cloud away.

"This seems to happen more often than it should… Cloud being dragged away. And this time there's nothing I can do to stop it." Zack shook his head to himself.

* * *

Levei stood in the center of the training room, looking around at the lack of equipment.

Angeal stepped inside and spotted the girl. "Hey, Levei, what's up?"

"Hm?" Levei turned to him. "Oh, Angeal, I'm just looking at what Shinra has to offer."

Angeal smiled at her. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to the training facility your family bought, but it's Shinra quality."

"Judging by your soldiers, I'm assuming it's _almost_ trustworthy?"

Angeal laughed. "Good one, but why do I get the feeling you're talking about Zack?"

Levei slightly looked to the side.

"… look, I know Zack's a little difficult to understand most of the time, and he rushes into things sometimes… and he has a habit of being forgetful and overconfident... I'm not helping anything, am I?"

Levei shook her head.

"Just give him a chance. He'll impress you, I know it."

"Okay… if you say so, Angeal."

"Where is he, anyway?"

Levei shrugged. "I lost him a while ago."

Angeal sighed.

* * *

"Does your hand always sweat this much?" Ryiah asked, trying to keep hold of Cloud's clammy hand as she pulled him through the halls.

"No, sorry." Cloud pulled his hand away and wiped it on his pants. "I'm just nervous, I guess."

"I would be too if I were you, I am unnaturally attractive."

"Y-yeah."

"You're not supposed to agree with that! That's pretty much like you're calling me _uniquely beautiful_!"

"What's wrong with that?" Cloud asked, confused.

"It's like you're calling me ugly, you jerk! I'll never forgive you, any chance we had at a romance has been diminished." Ryiah crossed her arms and turned her back to Cloud.

"We had a chance?"

Ryiah rolled her eyes. "Infantry men…"

"Where are we going? The training room isn't on this floor," Cloud pointed out as Ryiah as she continued to push forward.

"Oh, right… You ready for a work out?" Ryiah winked, changing course to the nearest elevator.

"Why did you wink!?"


	8. Listen

**Chapter Eight:**

_**-**__ Yes. You know what?  
Listen._

Levei walked past a couple of large second class soldiers, also using the training room.

One of the men elbowed his friend and pointed at Levei. "Check it out, I didn't know it was bring your kid to work day."

"Yeah, I didn't get the memo either." The second soldier chuckled.

Levei rolled her eyes, ignoring them.

"You really shouldn't be in this area, this is for adults. Hey!" The first solder walked over to Levei. "You hear me?"

"I listened, I heard, I ignored. Now beat it." Levei tried to walk away.

"What did you say?" He grabbed her shoulder roughly.

Levei turned and judo flipped him without hesitation. "I said beat it." She glared at him as he lied on the ground before continuing on her walk through the training area.

Zack entered the room, as the two second class soldiers ran past him whispering to each other about how scary 'that skinny kid' was.

"Skinny kid?" Zack frowned, spotting Levei in the distance. "Hey! There are you Twiggy!" He quickly jogged over to her. "I … lost Cloud and Ryiah."

Levei held up a hand. "That deserves a high five."

"Okay!" Zack tried to high five her but she retracted her hand before he could reach it.

"I hope someone will give you one."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"Thanks, I'm here to work on my comedy routine. It's going pretty well so far," Levei said, staring at Zack blankly.

"So what were you doing in here? You can't keep running off like that all the time."

"I was just looking around."

"And? Pretty impressive, huh?" Zack grinned.

Levei shrugged. "It's decent." She looked back at a giant machine sitting behind her.

"Have you seen this one before." Zack patted the machine and Levei took a step back to get a better look. "It's a hologram type machine. It's used to give the illusion you're somewhere else. It's highly effective training regimen… Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal use it a lot."

"At the same time?"

Zack nodded.

Levei turned back to face Zack. "You think we could use it?"

"It's… pretty hard core."

"If you're too scared—"

"I was more worried about you." Zack shook his head and laughed.

Levei smirked. "Please."

"I think we should go get Cloud, he'll want to come too… Oh! Wait, I forgot, I have a mission in the Sector Four Slums. You're coming with me. I told you but… you disappeared again."

"Or did you lose me?"

"No, you ran away!"

"Because you were talking about—" Levei paused. "Forget it. Let's just get this over with."

"That's the spirit!" Zack smiled and took Levei's hand before dragging her out of the training room.

* * *

"Man, I got lost again, all the floors in this building look the same." Ryiah sighed, stepping out the an elevator with Cloud.

"We're on the roof… How did we end up here?" Cloud questioned, looking around.

"Someone must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator or something..." Ryiah shrugged. "We can train up here? I'll teach you how to jump off the roof and live. It takes practice, so you might not get it the first time."

Cloud paused and frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea…" He shook his head. "No, no, let's do something else…"

Ryiah sighed. "Fine, what do _you_ suggest we do then?"

"Go to… the training room? I need to practice my reaction time. Zack says I'm really slow when attacking monsters or saving his life."

"That's kid stuff! Let's go." Ryiah grabbed his hand and dragged him back into the elevator.

* * *

In the Sector Four Slums, Zack and Levei fought their way further into town. Levei didn't hold back showing off her talents, nonchalantly striking down monsters without stopping.

"So what's the mission?" She asked between kills.

"Uh…" Zack struggled to retrieve his phone from his pocket.

A woman ran over, screaming Zack's name. "Zack, Zack Fair!"

Zack jumped, flipping his phone out of his pocket and onto the dusty ground.

"Oh, sorry! I'm one of the CEOs of the Zack Fair Fan Club! _Hi_!"

"Oh, hey! How's it going?" Zack flashed her a smile, glancing at his phone that was now laying a few feet from him.

"_Ohmygosh_! Where is your other earring?!"

"Huh?" Zack reached up and touched his earlobe. "Oh yeah, I gave it to that girl…"

"_Girl_?! What girl?" the fan-girl demanded.

"She's part of my fan club, too."

"Oh, okay. There's a shop over there, you should look into getting some new ones."

Levei picked up Zack's phone and began to scan through his messages folder, then quickly maneuvering through the rest of his things, making sure to note his phone number and missions.

"Okay, yeah! I'll do that, thanks!" Zack grinned at the woman, hoping she would leave.

"No problem!" The woman waved at him, excited she could help her idol.

Another shop keep stepped up to them. "Have you joined the Sephiroth fan club?" She stopped as she spotted Zack "Oh hey, Zack, I know you have." She turned on Levei, "Have you?"

"Not interested." Levei tossed Zack his phone and began to walk away.

Zack struggled to catch the cell phone before looking at the women. "Uh, sorry, we're on business…" He slipped his phone back in his pocket and ran to catch up with Levei. "Wait up!"

The first woman turned to the shopkeeper. "… nice to see you…"

"I wish I could say the same, but you're still after that." She pointed to Zack. "Rather than this." The shopkeeper pulled out a large cut-out of Sephiroth.

"… where were you hiding that?!"

* * *

After finally navigating their way through the identical hall ways, Ryiah and Cloud made it to the training room, just barely missing Zack and Levei.

Ryiah stood with her arms spread wide open. "Okay, come at me bro."

"I don't want to hurt you." Cloud stared at her nervously.

"Are you serious? You dork! I've done my fair share of _Turk_ training and missions. You think _you_ could hurt _me_? Don't make me laugh."

"Okay." Cloud nodded, flinching as he prepared to swing his sword, but realized he was hanging upside down from the ceiling. "What just happened?!"

Ryiah stepped up to him, arms crossed, with her upside down face coming into view. "Lesson One: _Never_ try to hit a Turk."

"How many lessons are there?"

"Lesson Two: Don't ask questions."

"Right…" Cloud blinked at her, the blood beginning to rush into his head.

Ryiah stared at him.

Cloud blinked again and Ryiah continued to stare.

"What's nex—"

"I said no questions!" Ryiah punched him in the stomach, and he fell hard to the ground.

Cloud flinched, rubbing his stomach. He looked up at Ryiah. "So, if I can't ask questions…" He stood up, readying himself. "Tell me how many lessons there are!"

Ryiah tilted her head to look at Cloud. "You know… you're kinda cute when you're assertive."

Cloud brushed himself off. "Yeah?"

"I said no questions!" Ryiah shouted, trying to punch him again but he stopped her this time. "Wow… nice block, Blondie. Lesson Three: Develop a confident and sexy personality quirk."

"Confident and sexy, got it."

"Tseng is the master of this lesson… I wonder if I can get him down here to give you a few tips." Ryiah said as her phone buzzed with a simple text of : "No.".

"Tch," Ryiah cursed, putting her phone away. "Jerk. Anyway, what do you have in mind for your new trait?"

"I could… I don't know, smile… a lot?"

"Laaame~!"

Cloud looked discouraged. "What if I start… winking?" He winked at her.

"It's creepy when you do it."

"I could rip off my shirt at random moments?"

"And show off that shiny white thing you call a chest? I don't think that reads sexy or confident."

"Hmm." Cloud thought a moment. "Hey, I'm not shiny _or_ white!"

"You are pretty white… You almost blinded me when we were at the beach!"

Cloud frowned.

"I got it." Ryiah snapped. "You should get a motorcycle." She shook her head. "I think you better sleep on it, but remember we might be done here, but your Turk training is never complete."

"But I don't want to become a Turk."

"The training will teach you many valuable skills you can use in life." Ryiah nodded. "You should accept this spontaneous apprenticeship with open arms!"

"Okay!" Cloud said, looking determined.

"… That was me asking you for a hug, jerk."

"What?!"

"'Open arms', duh, don't you know women at all?"

"I'm sorry, I'll get it right next time!" Cloud promised.

"Wow, it sure is easy to make you sweat, Blondie. Of course I wasn't asking for a hug, are you dumb?"

* * *

"Where are we going?" Zack asked as soon as he caught up to Levei.

"To accomplish the mission," Levei informed him, annoyed.

"You saw it?" Zack paused. "What else did you see?"

"Your odd obsession with the Sephiroth fan club…"

"They send me e-mails every day, it's insane! I didn't even want to join, I work with him! I can talk to him whenever I want!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Well, whenever he's not busy… or if he wants to see me…" Zack corrected.

"That's what I thought."

Zack put his arms behind his head as they continued to walk through the slums. "How do you think Cloud is faring?"

"He's probably dead by now."

"Yeah, I thought so too, but I didn't want to say anything…"

"How do you think you're doing?" Levei smirked.

"Me? Doing in what?" Zack asked, confused.

"If you don't know, you won't know."

"I'm … doing great!"

"You sure about that?"

"…Yes?...no? What was the question?"

"We're almost there," Levei noted.

"Yeah, you think you're ready to fight?"

"I would be… if that was the mission."

"What do you mean?" Zack frowned, pulling out his phone to brief himself on the mission once again. "'Replace the batteries in the generator. It controls the heaters at Shinra and must be replaced before winter approaches.' Are you kidding me!?"

"Looks like you've got a promotion!" Ryiah sang, popping out from behind the generator. "You're no longer a plumber, now you're a handy man!"

"I was never a plumber… hey!" Zack shouted.

"Hi!" Ryiah waved.

"I thought you said you weren't going to pop up on us!"

"I lied."

"Where's Cloud?" Zack frowned.

"I'm training him… he'll pop up, give him a second, he's still a little delayed."

"You? Training someone? Sounds dangerous."

"I'll go switch the batteries," Levei stated, turning to Ryiah and Zack. "Stay put."

"Hey, shouldn't I be doing it?" Zack shrugged and looked at Ryiah. "And how is Cloud going to appear?"

Ryiah shrugged also. "It's impossible to detect someone as unskilled as him… Hey, aren't _you_ supposed to be watching her? She's not well enough to be going on missions, even _your_ missions."

"Hey, what's wrong with my missions?"

"Please, I saw your phone. 'Clean the cat box.' R_eally_?"

"Hey, my mom needed help… my dad doesn't do anything around the house and…" Zack sighed in defeat.

Cloud's voice floated over from somewhere behind them. "Ah, man, you got that mission too? My parents refuse to do it, I'm always stuck with that job, even though I moved out! Spoiled cat…"

Zack shook his head. "I _am_ keeping an eye on Levei. She's right there." He pointed up to the generator where Levei was no longer standing. "Or… she _was _there."

"Good going Zack," Cloud said, coming fully into view.

"Levei! Where did you go?! You're not making me look very good! Not that I don't look good…" Zack cried to himself.

Levei jumped on top of the generator from behind and replaced the battery, looking down at the group. "I couldn't hear you, but I'm sure it was worth ignoring," she said before jumping back down.

"… what did she say?" Cloud asked.

"I love you, too!" Zack waved at her as she disappeared before turning to Cloud. "Huh? Oh nothing…"

"Wow, I leave you alone for a few minutes and you're already in love?" Ryiah frowned.

"Huh? Oh that…" Zack scratched the back of his head. "It's a term of endearment, that's it."

Ryiah ignored him. "Can you believe it, Blondie? Blondie?" She spun around spotting Cloud being dragged away.

Zack sighed. "Not again…"

Levei made her way over and noticed Cloud disappearing into the darkness. "Why aren't you helping him?" She rushed over and cut down the monster, before roughly helping Cloud up. "Be more careful."

"Yes ma'am." Cloud nodded, embarrassed at his uselessness.

Levei turned to Ryiah and Zack, sheathing her sword. "Conflict resolved."

Zack did a fist pump. "Yeah!"

"Oh my gosh Twiggy! You shouldn't be exerting yourself like that, it's dangerous!" Ryiah jogged up to Levei, grabbing her. "Quick, Zack, we need to get her to bed!"

"She looks fine to me."

"Which is exactly why I'm observing, in case you fail your duties and I need to intervene!"

"What ever gets us back faster," Levei said.

"Agreed. I'm beat," Cloud added, stretching.

"Turk training too much for you?" Zack smiled and gave Cloud a hard pat on the back.

Cloud flinched. "Yeah, tough stuff, those Turks."

Levei started to walk away, impatient. "Let's go before it gets too late."

"Yeah, we need to make it back before curfew!" Cloud jogged to catch up with her.

"Eh, what's the rush? We'll get there when we get there." Zack nonchalantly strolled behind them with Ryiah by his side.


	9. Oh My Love

**Chapter Nine:**

_**-**__ You and I like you this live  
Oh my love_

One early morning, Levei found herself joining her elder brother for breakfast in his large bedroom. The room more resembled a library than a place for sleeping, but made for a pleasant place to enjoy breakfast.

"… and after that he gave up, it was very sad, but expected. I mean, he couldn't expect to give a better performance than the original actors, but he could have at least tried to keep his slow pace consistent throughout the act." Genesis shook his head and took a sip of tea out of his gilded cup.

"So shameful… you're never supposed to give up," Levei agreed.

"Very true, sister." Genesis smiled at her. "So how are things going with… Zack?"

Levei took a long sip from her cup before answering. "They're…going."

"I still can't trust him…"

"Even though Angeal does?"

"Angeal is blinded by his compassion."

"He is very compassionate," Levei noted.

Genesis sighed and looked down absent-minded at his now empty plate.

"Look, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I haven't give up hope yet."

Genesis glanced up at her. "Oh?"

"Yes, let's just see how it plays out."

Genesis nodded. "It was a pleasure as always, Levei."

"Okay." Levei smiled at him and took this as an invitation to leave. She stepped out of the room and pulled out her phone, sending a text. "Hm… what about her?" She whispered to herself before pausing and sending another message.

* * *

At this moment, _she_ was lying asleep in Levei's bed, twisting the covers around her like a caterpillar's cocoon, ignoring the buzzing of her phone. "Tseng… just gimmie five more minutes…" Ryiah groaned, burying her head further into the blankets.

The door burst open, revealing an urgent Zack Fair. "Twiggy! We've got to go!" he shouted.

Cloud peaked in through the door behind him. "Sorry, I tried to stop him, but he's faster than me."

Zack grinned and pointed to his legs. "It's from all the squats. You'll need to work on that."

Cloud shook his head and glanced at the bed, noticing the feet sticking out from the mound of blanket's had colorfully pointed toenails. "Hey, that's not Levei…"

"Huh?" Zack followed his gaze. "What?! I need Levei!"

Levei quietly stepped into the room. "That's…a weird thing to say."

Ryiah moaned. "No, Ryiah, get those thoughts out of your head! Not another sex dream with Zack and Twiggy!"

Cloud blushed.

"Hurry! Someone wake her up!" Zack yelled, frantic.

Ryiah sat up, allowing the blankets to fall around her. "Just kidding, I'm a light sleeper."

"… What are you doing in my room?" Levei narrowed her eyes at the girl.

"You mean you didn't know she was sleeping in your room?" Zack asked.

"I've been awake and out of my room for a while now…"

"Huh, oh! We need to go! We have a mission!"

"A mission?"

Sephiroth appeared in the door way, entering the already overly crowded room. "Where is the Turk?" he demanded.

"What'd she do this time?" Zack flinched, covering his face with a hand.

"I had nothing to do with it!" Cloud shouted.

"Cloud! That's Lesson Seven: Never admit you were involved. Good job!" Ryiah gushed.

"Thanks." Cloud smiled, sheepishly.

"We have a mission. Hurry and ready yourself so we can leave," Sephiroth persisted, eager to rid himself of this group of people.

"A mission? With _her_?" Zack pointed to Ryiah while staring at Sephiroth, dumbfounded.

"Yes, do you question my mission?"

"A little, what is it?"

Sephiroth laughed. "I have strict instructions to keep this mission under wraps."

"Did Genesis give you this mission?" Zack raised an eyebrow.

"No, why would he waste his time giving me missions? This was from the important list of missions designated for heroes. Not that it's any of your concern."

"Wow, I'm honored, really…" Ryiah looked at the window and whispered, "Thank you Tseng, baby."

"But she's not even part of soldier, why wouldn't the Turks let her know if she had a mission?" Cloud asked.

"Hey, we're getting rid of her for a day, that's all that matters," Zack said.

"Please, let us be on our way." Sephiroth looked around the room. "I'd rather Genesis did not know I spent any more time than necessary in his younger sister's bed room."

Levei nodded in agreement.

Ryiah allowed Sephiroth to escort her from the room. He walked gracefully down the hall and waited until Levei's room was out of ear shot to say in a low voice, "Finally, now that they're gone." He cleared his throat and turned to the Turk with a seductive smile. "The mission was a cover up, I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of accompanying me on a date."

Ryiah's heart all but stopped beating. "I… I'm speechless."

"Perhaps I will come up with the words for you: 'Yes, Sephiroth, I would love to do myself the pleasure of joining you on a romantic outing'."

"That pretty much sums up my thoughts." Ryiah nodded. "Except I would probably add something along the lines of… 'squee!'."

* * *

Cloud frowned to himself, "What do you guys think that mission was about?"

Zack opened his mouth to speak, but Levei cut him off. "I think you should go follow them and find out."

Zack closed his mouth. "Huh?"

"What?" Cloud asked, surprised.

"You'll never be a good Shinra soldier if you can't do a simple spy mission," Levei explained.

"You're right! I'd better go follow them. For Shinra!" And with that, Cloud ran from the room.

"What?!" Zack repeated.

"I didn't think he would actually believe me…" Levei said. "So why did you need me?"

"Oh yeah! We have a mission!"

"What kind of mission?"

"Well, it's a really difficult one." Zack held up his phone message.

"That's basically a suicide mission," Levei said, no hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"It does look pretty hard, huh? But it's nothing I can't handle." Zack flashed her a reassuring smile.

"Okay, lead the way."

* * *

Ryiah walked close by Sephiroth's side through the shopping district, making sure not to lose him in the crowds of people. "So… what exactly brought this on? I mean I know it was destined to be love at first sight but… I thought I would have to work a little harder to get you to accept my undying affections."

"Although they may believe differently, women are not always correct," Sephiroth noted.

"Hmm… interesting, tell me more."

"More?"

Cloud stood in the crowd, crouching behind a small child. He dressed himself in the closest thing he could find to a casual outfit and held a small notepad in hand. "Okay, just talking… I wonder if I should be writing this down. Probably." He nodded and began to scribble on the notepad.

* * *

Zack looked at his phone quietly as he and Levei walked to their mission's designated location.

"Anything interesting?" Levei asked him, speaking softly.

"Hm? Oh, just looking at the mission information again."

"And?"

"I wonder how the monster got loose from the research lab… or what they were doing making it in the first place."

"They obviously like experimenting… look at us," Levei said.

"That's true," Zack agreed, frowning before bringing his phone into view again. The two continued to walk along in silence.

* * *

"—and that was the last time I saw my beloved cat, Cloud." Ryiah finished telling a made up personal story to Sephiroth as they continued to stroll through the shopping district.

"Ah, what a sad story." Sephiroth nodded, although he had been only half listening. "Cloud? Why does that name sound vaguely familiar…"

"Oh my, look at those hair clips!" Ryiah exclaimed, pointing to a nearby stand and taking Sephiroth's arm.

"Those cheap plastic ones? I would never let one of those touch my hair."

"Oh yeah, you probably only use gold encrusted hair ornaments."

"Titanium, actually. Not that I wear hairclips…" Sephiroth shook his head and lead Ryiah over to a kiosk selling higher quality hair accessories. "I would like to purchase one of these for the lady," he told the shopkeeper.

"What? Really? Are you sure… I mean…" Ryiah said softly, surprised.

Sephiroth shushed her with a gloved finger to her lips. "What color would you like?"

Ryiah's response was muffled. "I'd answer you, but you're holding my mouth closed."

Sephiroth removed his finger, taking a step back. "Continue."

"I like… the red one, that's shaped like a flame. It reminds me of Zack for some reason, because he's flaming."

"Ah, but wouldn't you rather have one that reminds you of me?" Sephiroth motioned to himself, letting a bit of his overinflated ego slip through. "Like this one." He picked up a pair of silver wings.

"Oh yes, I like that one even _more_! Sephiroth the angel."

"Right… angel." Sephiroth smiled, unsure where she had gotten that idea. "Very well, we'll take this one," he told the lady.

She took his money, and Sephiroth held the clip out to Ryiah, placing it in her hair. "Lovely." He complimented.

Cloud stood inside a nearby booth, dressed in a shop-keeper disguise. He pressed the pen harder into his tiny notebook as he watched Ryiah's date with jealousy.

Ryiah looked over her shoulder. "Is there a mirror behind me or something? You can't be talking about _me_." She grinned at Sephiroth.

"I can be a little self-centered at times, I'll let you have that." Sephiroth nodded at her.

"Oh you," Ryiah said playfully, taking his arm again. "This date is going so much better than I expected. I thought you'd be a lot more—"

"Resistant?"

"Well… yeah."

"Are you hungry? I've made reservations."

* * *

Levei cut down a few monsters, with Zack at her back.

"Nice, Twiggy! I mean… Levei!" Zack smiled at her, over his shoulder.

"… sure."

Zack continued to smile as he walked further ahead of Levei, leaving her behind. "You coming?" He turned to her, noticing she wasn't by his side any longer. A giant monster loomed over her as she stared up at it, eyes wide with terror.

"Watch out!" Zack shouted and rushed forward. He jumped in front of Levei, blocking the monsters attack, staggering it with a single blow.

"Where did he come from?!" Levei gasped, in shock.

Zack pushed the beast back further, holding a protective arm in front of Levei. "No time, go that way. " He pointed to the side. "When I go that way." He pointed in the other direction. "And cut him from behind. His attention will be on me."

"Right." Levei nodded, regaining her confidence. She watched Zack run to the side before taking her place behind the monster.

The two attacked simultaneously, making the monster cry out in anger. It turned, noticing Levei but Zack flew into the air, regaining its attention with an expertly placed slash.

"Use fire Materia there!" Zack shouted, pointing from his place in the air.

Levei followed his instructions without hesitation.

Zack dealt the final blow, ending the escaped experiment's short lived life. "Alright! Piece of cake!" He shouted, pumping his fist.

Levei sheathed her sword and walked over to him. "Good… job…"

"Hey, thanks!" Zack held up his hand for a high five.

Levei slowly lifted her hand to return the gesture.

"Yeah! Now let's head back, you look tired." Zack turned and happily started to walk in the direction of Shinra.

Levei didn't move, but watched him walk away with curiosity.

* * *

Ryiah sat in the center of a fancy restaurant, across from Sephiroth. She tried her best not to feel under dressed even though she was wearing a suit and tie. "So…" She started, staring awkwardly at her water that sat in a crystal wine glass. "What made a guy like you, ask out someone like me?"

"What happened to that over confidence of yours?" Sephiroth asked, unrolling his silk napkin and placing it in his lap.

"It 's just an act… when I'm in the presence of a hero."

Cloud stood behind the violinist, now dressed in a tuxedo, complete with a light teal colored ascot. He held up a menu to his face, staring at Ryiah and Sephiroth as he stalked them through the shadows. Due to the menu in front of his face, he ran into a man, also appearing to be creeping through the veil of darkness.

Cloud quickly recovered from the initial shock, and lowered his menu. "Sorry."

The man, who also held up a menu, lowered it enough to peer over the top. "No, no, it was I who wasn't paying attention. My apologies."

"… Do I know you?" Cloud furrowed his brow at the man, suspiciously.

"No."

"You're… a Turk? I can tell by your suit."

"Shh, keep your voice down."

"Are you…" Cloud glanced to Ryiah's table.

The Turk sighed, confirming Cloud's suspicious that he was in fact, Tseng. "Shall we work together, then?"

Cloud nodded furiously and Tseng led him over to a table just close enough to Ryiah's to be able to hear her conversation without being noticed.

"Well, I _am_ a hero." Sephiroth smiled at Ryiah until his phone began to beep. He glanced at it before setting his napkin on the table and standing up. "Excuse me a moment."

"What are they doing?" Tseng asked, surprising Cloud.

"They're on a mission," Cloud told him, happy to of been some sort of help to the experienced spy.

"Mission?"

"Yeah, shouldn't you know? I thought you were the one in charge of all Ryiah's missions."

"I am. There's something going on here, and I'm trying to uncover it," Tseng explained.

"Maybe we should warn her."

"That's never an option."

"But I thought that was Lesson Thirty-Six: Always warn your comrades when something is going on," Cloud recited.

Tseng did a double-take on Cloud. "How did you know that?"

"I've picked up on a few things."

Tseng narrowed his eyes at Cloud.

Sephiroth walked back to his table, taking his seat and flipping his hair over a shoulder. "Sorry about that, it was work… you know how that is."

Ryiah phone buzzed with a text from Tseng reading: "Work? No you don't."

Cloud glanced at Tseng, "I didn't even see you text her."

"I'm a Turk," Tseng answered, simply.

"Tch, jerk." Ryiah sighed, closing the text and setting her phone on the table.

"Excuse me?" Sephiroth asked, offended.

Ryiah shook her head. "No, not you! My boss, he's a… jerk."

"I wouldn't know what that was like… to have a boss."

"It's awful… but at the same time, it's the best thing ever. It's like," Ryiah paused and thought a moment as if trying to choose the right words. "When you don't know what to do, there's always someone there to back you up and set you on the right path. There's always someone to rely on, to joke with, to hug when you're feeling lonely."

Cloud looked at Tseng with a raised eyebrow.

"None of those things are true, I assure you." Tseng said, not looking away from Ryiah's table.

"That sounds… nice," Sephiroth said softly, watching Ryiah closely.

* * *

"Well, that was fun," Zack said as he and Levei arrived back at Shinra, breaking the silence they had fallen into.

"Yeah, it was… an accomplished mission," Levei agreed.

"Yeah, I'm sure Genesis will be happy."

"… hey Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Levei said, looking away.

Zack gave a look of surprise. "Yeah, sure. So, should I let you have some time to yourself?"

Levei hesitated before answering. "You want to go get something to eat?"

"Nah, I got better things to do then make small talk with you." Zack grinned at her, teasingly.

"Oh good, I was just being polite," Levei snapped before walking away.

Zack grabbed her arm. "Just kidding, we're going out!" He smiled and dragged her in the opposite direction. "For all the sarcasm you dish, you sure don't know how to take it!" He smiled down at her. "Bet you didn't expect a guy like me to have an edge, huh?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"So, where do you want to go?"

"We have two options. We could go to a restaurant, or an establishment that serves food."

"Hmm, tough choices. I think I'll go with… the first one? No, wait, I'm defiantly in the mood for the second." Zack laughed.

"Alright, let's go." Levei said, smiling slightly.

"This is a different side of you Twiggy, you're actually… being nice to me. What gives?"

"Don't get used to it."

Zack shrugged. "It was nice while it lasted."

* * *

**A/N: We hope you guys are enjoying the story, but if you could just type up a quick review we'd really appreciate it! It motivates us to work on it more, and tells us what you guys want to read next.**

**So, in summation: Reviews = more chapters.**

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**~E & M~**


	10. This Song is Not Over

**Chapter Ten:**

- _This song is not over  
Get shock!_

"So… tell me about yourself, Sephiroth. I feel like I hardly know you," Ryiah said, batting her eyelashes in Sephiroth's direction. "The _real_ you I mean, I know _everything_ about you from the fan-club."

"That pretty much covers things… Let's focus on you, what's your favorite type of flower?" Sephiroth asked, desperate to divert the attention from himself.

"Hmm, that's an interesting change of subject… I guess I like orchids."

Cloud furiously scribbled this bit of information down on his small notepad.

"She's lying to him," Tseng informed Cloud.

"Huh?"

"I think she's onto something."

"What do you mean?" Could asked.

"Just watch."

Sephiroth smiled at Ryiah. "I see, they are beautiful flowers. Do you have any siblings?"

"I'm a Turk silly, I don't have a family," Ryiah told him.

"Just because you're a Turk doesn't mean you were raised by wolves."

"What about you? Where are your parents from?"

"I don't have any parents." Sephiroth took a sip of his water.

"Oh."

"You don't seem surprised."

"I already knew that about you." Ryiah nodded. "You don't really have any family besides Genesis and Angeal."

Sephiroth watched her in silence.

"Were you close to Twiggy, too?"

"Twiggy?"

"Levei," Ryiah corrected.

"I didn't know Genesis had a younger sister until recently."

"Interesting approach…" Tseng commented. "She's managing to extract personal information at an alarming rate."

"Uh, I think she's just making conversation," Cloud pointed out.

"Look, here comes our food," Ryiah said, excited as she watched an abundance of tiny dishes being set on their table. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat."

"Good to know you haven't been stalking me. I've had my suspicions," Sephiroth said, watching Ryiah over the food.

Ryiah smiled at him. "I'll take that as a joke."

"I can be quite the comedian at times. This isn't one of those times." Sephiroth smiled back.

Ryiah stabbed her food aggressively and Sephiroth politely twirled a small bit of pasta on his fork.

"Do you have any allergies?" Ryiah questioned.

"No, I am perfect."

"Ah, of course." Ryiah kicked herself for asking a question with such an obvious answer.

A waiter walked up to Tseng and Cloud's table, breaking their concentration. "Are you ready to order, sirs?"

"I'll have a—" Cloud began, but was cut off by a glare from Tseng. "… few more minutes."

"Alright then. Let me know if I can get you some … cocktails, we make a great raspberry twirler."

"Isn't that a girl's drink? Why would we—"

Tseng took Cloud's hand in his, waving off the waiter. "We're fine for now, thank you."

As soon as the waiter was out of view, Cloud ripped his hand from Tseng's. "What'd you do that for?!"

"Keep your voice down. It's part of our cover." Tseng wiped his hand on a napkin before turning back to Ryiah as she took the last bite of her food.

"Your stomach capacity is admirable," Sephiroth complimented, watching Ryiah in awe.

"What kind of compliment is … who is this guy?" Cloud whispered to Tseng harshly.

Tseng shook his head slightly.

"I work out a lot." Ryiah smiled shyly.

"Would you like to order some desert?"

"Or… we could go back to my place," Ryiah suggested, looking up at Sephiroth from beneath her eye lashes.

Sephiroth looked down at his phone. "I'm afraid I have other hero duties I must attend to." He looked around the room nonchalantly.

"Something's not right," Tseng stated.

"Yeah, she's looking at the dessert menu, and we haven't eaten. I'm starving…" Cloud said.

"Oh… was I too bold? I thought things were going well." Ryiah looked down at her hands, disappointed by Sephiroth's rejection.

"They are going well. I have an early morning and…" Sephiroth took her hand in his, looking into her eyes. "I like to savor a relationship. Let's not give every secret away on the first date."

Ryiah melted under his gaze.

"Finally, this nonsense is over," Tseng said as he watched Sephiroth pay for the meal and escort Ryiah out of the restaurant.

"But, we didn't learn anything," Cloud pointed out.

Tseng stood up and walked over to study Ryiah's empty table, noticing Sephiroth had forgotten his cell phone. He picked it up, scanning through the messages at an alarming rate before setting the phone down and returning to Cloud.

Sephiroth came back inside, and strode over to retrieve his phone just as Tseng returned to his seat. With phone in hand, Sephiroth left once again.

"What did it say?" Cloud asked harshly.

"This date is covering for a mission entitling Sephiroth to distract Ryiah. And apparently, it worked," Tseng explained, shaking his head.

"Who sent it?"

"I don't know, but I will find out." Tseng stood up and left as well.

The waiter stepped up to Cloud, watching Tseng head for the doors. "I see you are leaving?"

Cloud swallowed audibly. "I…" His shoulders slumped. "Yeah."

Ryiah stood out front of the restaurant, her shiny black dress shoes reflecting off the street light she was waiting under. "Where did you go?" she asked as Sephiroth stepped up to join her.

He waved the phone at her. "It was hiding under the napkin."

"Silly phone, doesn't it know who it's messing with?"

Sephiroth laughed slightly. "I suppose it doesn't." He slipped the phone in his pocket. "Should I escort you to your Headquarters, or will you be staying in Genesis' younger sister's room again?"

"Twiggy and I are roomies. See… she's scared of the dark so I've taken it upon myself to protect her."

"Very well," Sephiroth said, offering his arm.

After a pleasant stroll back to Shinra, the two found themselves at the end of the date, standing awkwardly outside of Levei's bedroom door.

"Well, I suppose this is good night." Sephiroth watched Ryiah, willing her not to try anything.

"I guess it is… huh." Ryiah appeared to be in thought.

"What is it? Is something the matter?"

"Well, it's just…. I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off."

"What do you mean?"

"Pull off this mission. I mean, I knew you were loyal to your beloved Shinra but… to go this far as to please a fan-girl." Ryiah tapped her bottom lip. "I can't say I'm not pleased but…"

"So you did know," Sephiroth stated, as if confirming future beliefs.

"Of course, I'm a Turk." Ryiah winked at him.

Sephiroth nodded.

"I still failed to figure out just who put up the mission though. At first I thought it was Zack, but there's no way he could be that smart." Ryiah laughed. "I wonder if Tseng knows."

Sephiroth smiled at her. "Good night, Turk," he said before turning, his hair flowing out behind him, and walking off down the hall.

Ryiah's phone buzzed and she glanced at the text: "Of course I know."

"Tseng, why don't you come out and talk to me face to face like a man," Ryiah chastised.

Tseng opened Levei's bedroom door from the inside and sighed. "Step inside."

Ryiah entered the room and shut the door behind her. "So, who was it? It wasn't…" She gasped. "You!?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Awh, you're blushing," Ryiah gushed.

"I am not," Tseng protested, since he was in fact not blushing in the slightest.

Ryiah sighed. "You're right, it's impossible to make you blush. Hey, you know… I never did get a good night kiss from my date." She glanced up at Tseng, suggestively.

"That is not my problem."

"Yes it is! It's your responsibility to make me happy!"

"It never has been and it never will be," Tseng said blankly.

"Fine." Ryiah pouted and crossed her arms. "Who put up the mission? Tell me and I'll stop bothering you… for the next hour."

Tseng stared at her. "I don't believe you are capable."

Downstairs in the lobby, Sephiroth walked past Zack and Levei who were just now returning from their night on the town.

"Hey Sephiroth, how was the mission?" Zack winked at him.

"Good, how was yours?" Sephiroth asked in return.

Zack slung his arm around Levei's shoulders. "Great, thanks for asking." He grinned as Sephiroth continued to pass them. After a moment Zack pulled his arm back. "Oh sorry, forgot."

Levei rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Of course I can do it! See, I have this tape recorder of you singing a lullaby." Ryiah waved a small voice recorder at Tseng.

"Where did you get that?" he demanded.

"I didn't put it in the shower with you or anything."

"My one spot of complete vulnerability…"

Ryiah smiled at him. "So tell me, and I'll let this sing me to sleep… for tonight."

"Give me the recorder and I'll tell you," Tseng offered.

"But the recorder… it's my most prized possession."

Zack opened the door and stepped inside with Levei close behind.

Ryiah screamed. "Zack! What did I tell you about coming in here without knocking?!"

"Why are you screaming?! This isn't even your room, and you're _fully clothed_!" Zack shouted back.

"I _could_ have been naked!"

Tseng no longer sat on the bed next to Ryiah and had somehow managed to disappear in less than seconds.

Ryiah sighed. "Now I'll never know who put up the mission… until tomorrow when I trick that blonde kid into hacking into the soldier data bases."

"Mission?" Zack asked.

Levei put up a hand. "No, don't ask. Then she'll explain."

"Right then…" Zack looked pointedly at Ryiah. "Don't force Cloud to do anything." He watched her innocent smile. "And I don't buy that." He turned to Levei, winking. "Thanks for the… date."

"Date?" Ryiah looked between them. "I can't believe it, Zack on a date, with a _woman_!"

"I go on plenty of dates with women!"

"You hear that, Twiggy, he's cheating on you."

"Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!" Zack yelled.

"I don't have the desire to go anywhere near your mouth!" Ryiah shouted back.

"Don't lie! I've seen the looks!"

"Don't flatter yourself! I was only staring because your mouth is ugly!"

Genesis appeared in the open doorway. "What is this racket?"

"Genesis, perfect, just the man I wanted to see." Ryiah walked over and grabbed is hand.

"Release me immediately."

Zack looked nervous, since he had been caught in his sister's bedroom.

"Can you… wow, this is embarrassing and awkward." Ryiah blushed, not letting go of Genesis' hand. "Can you ask Sephiroth what he thinks of me? Find out what kind of day he had?"

"I will not," Genesis dismissed.

"It's because you have feelings for me." Ryiah nodded. "I knew it, it's okay, there's no need to be jealous. I'll let you two share."

"This isn't awkward…" Levei commented sarcastically.

Zack tried to play it cool. "She's just kidding Genesis, she's kind of insane."

"So I've noticed." He turned on Zack and Levei. "Well, I see you haven't managed to kill her yet."

"I—"

"I was talking to my sister; how you, Zack, haven't been killed is astounding."

"Thank… you?" Zack said, unsure.

"I like you more and more as we spend time together…" Ryiah sighed longingly.

"Tch." Zack scowled.

"This does not concern you," Genesis told Ryiah.

"But… but…" Ryiah started, desperate to keep Genesis' attention. "Zack went on a date with your sister! And… he kissed her on the beach, remember!" She stuck her tongue out at Zack.

Zack's mouth dropped open in shock.

Genesis' eye's glowed red. "What was that, about a date?"

"I … she…" Zack stumbled.

"So you're going to blame her for this?!"

"No! I didn't mean—"

Levei cut him off. "Zack saved me."

Genesis and Zack slowly turned to face her.

"We went after that chimera from the lab and Zack saved me."

Zack gave Genesis a weak smile and Genesis narrowed his eyes. "This isn't over."

"So you went on a date with him for saving you? Tch, you owe me _so_ many dates then, Twiggy," Ryiah said.

Genesis looked between Zack and Ryiah. "Somehow I feel less threatened by my sister going on a date with the Turk."

"Because of my large influence on the opposite gender?" Zack offered, cockily.

Genesis' eyes glowed red again.

"Sorry, sorry… I take it back."

"Yeah he does. He has _no_ influence on the opposite gender!" Ryiah said. "But funny enough, a lot on his own gender… there have been rumors." She dropped her voice to a whisper for only Genesis to hear. "I heard he likes to kiss guys, watch out."

"Thanks for the warning." Genesis gave Zack a warning glance.

Zack threw his hands up. "I don't even know what's going on!"

"It's for the best." Levei nodded.

"I'll see you in the morning." Genesis nodded a farewell to his sister before walking out.

Zack exhaled loudly. "Man, he's so intense…." He turned to Ryiah. "You went on a date with Sephiroth, right? Well, I made that happen so, like our challenge from earlier, you should be satisfied. Hmm?"

"Well I was… until just now! Why would you tell me it was _you_?! Now it's tainted," Ryiah wailed.

"I can't win!"

"You will never satisfy me!"

"But you said… if you had a date with Sephiroth you would be satisfied," Zack reminded.

"I don't believe it."

"You said! You heard her, right Levei?"

"Twiggy." Ryiah narrowed her eyes at Levei.

"You made it happen Zack?" Levei asked.

"I might as well have! She got the date, that's all that counts!"

"I see…" Levei turned to Ryiah. "And did you get the date you wanted?"

"The date was okay… who am I kidding, it was like a dream. But the ending, well look where I am! In a room with Zack! Of course the ending could use _much_ improvement." Ryiah crossed her arms.

"Tch, like you could do better." Zack scoffed.

"Wait, rewind… you 'might as well have'? So… it wasn't you?"

"No, I hadn't gotten around to it yet; I've had too many missions. Today for instance, was a very important mission. But that's not the point! The point is that I satisfied you and I win!" He did a fist pump.

"If you didn't make the date with Sephiroth happen, then you didn't satisfy me! Someone else did… and I bet I know who… it was," Ryiah paused for dramatic effect. "Cloud!"

Cloud stepped out from behind one of Levei's curtains. "So you've discovered me."

Zack gasped. "Cloud, it was _you_? But… why would you want to set Ryiah up on a date with the man she's freakishly obsessed with?"

"I'm glad you asked that, Zack. I'll tell you why."

"Why don't you guys take this conversation out of my room." Levei pointed to the door.

Cloud ignored her and gave into Zack's expectant gaze. "I did it … because Zack told me to! So… he is responsible!"

"Don't you dare lie to me, after all we've been through!" Ryiah cried.

"I… I'm not…" Cloud said, nervously.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not lying."

"I'm afraid to look you in the eyes… last time I did that you poked mine!"

"You wouldn't blink! I got desperate!"

"I saw him do it, Ryiah, he set up those missions." Levei said, confirming Cloud's story.

Zack spoke with tears of joy. "Thank you Cloud, thank you for following through for me!"

"Of course Zack! Anything for you!" Cloud said, and the two joined in a manly embrace.

"Well, that was anti-climatic…" Ryiah sighed. "I was hoping you'd have some scheming tale of setting up the mission to distract Sephiroth and me while you went along behind us, teaming up with Tseng to secretly gather information that could later be used as blackmail once Sephiroth and I get married and rule the world together. It's the only way to prevent yourself from becoming my slave."

"That sounded pretty good until the end…" Zack said.

Cloud blinked. "That would have been a better explanation…"

Levei clapped slowly.

"So… Zack wins?" Cloud smiled hopefully.

"Sure, I guess…" Ryiah yawned. "I don't remember betting anything though so… I guess he just wins nothing."

"Nothing? I did all that for nothing? … totally worth it!" Zack did a fist pump.

Ryiah crawled into Levei's twin bed. "Either join me or get out." She closed her eyes.

Cloud took a step toward the bed.

"Come on buddy." Zack grabbed Cloud's arm and dragged him out of the room.

"Enjoy your victory while it lasts. She was the next to last girl in Shinra." Levei smiled.

Zack narrowed his eyes at her as he shut the door.

"Good night Twiggy." Ryiah mumbled, reaching up to touch the shiny silver wings in her hair. "Good night…"


	11. Switch Up Styles

**Chapter Eleven:**

**-** _You know I'd walk them miles  
Climb mountains switch up styles_

Late the next afternoon Ryiah skipped up to Zack. "Hi guy!" She gushed. "Did you miss me? I know it's hard for me, being out of your life for even the smallest moment, knowing for that brief amount of time I have no influence on you what so ever or the person you're going to become." She looked away dramatically.

"Why are you wearing a ball gown? I thought the Shinra Award Ceremony wasn't until next month, and Sephiroth is usually the only one who wins those…" Zack frowned.

"Ha. Ha. This isn't a ball gown you jerk, it's an evening dress. I'm a lady of the night… Wait, that sounds wrong. Don't get any ideas, Blondie!" She shouted to Cloud, who wasn't anywhere nearby. "Anyway, my suit got dirty…" Ryiah blushed. "And Tseng said I had to wear this until he cleaned it. You know, always look presentable and professional! Lesson number 97, Blondie."

"Somehow I don't think Tseng does your laundry… or would want you to be representing the Turks in a frilly dress."

"They're not frills, they're ruffles. And Tseng is actually quite the seamstress… he likes to show off his work when he gets the chance."

*Somewhere in the Turk HQ…*

Tseng stood holding up a needle and thread in front of a nude dress form. "Where did my dress go…?" He asked, spotting a note taped to the mannequin written on flowered note paper. He plucked it off, reading it aloud to himself:

"_My Dearest Tseng, baby,_

_ I don't know what happened to your dress._

_ Love, Ryiah_

_P.S. My suit is dirty, I left it on your bed. Can you wash it for me?_

_P.P.S. I love you!"_

"What's today's schedule?" Ryiah asked Zack.

"Shouldn't you of all people know that?" Zack said, pointedly.

"Why? Just because I keep a printed copy of your and Twiggy's past, present and future movements doesn't mean I can read minds. I have no idea what _you_ think the schedule is. You could be completely wrong and in which case I would need to correct you… violently."

Zack scowled. "Fine, uh…" He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess first thing on _my_ list, is to get Levei."

"Pick her up from daycare you mean? What kind of babysitter did you find on such short notice?!"

Zack sighed. "Come on…"

In the training room, Levei stood doing slight stretches and talking to herself. "That wasn't too bad of a work out…" She glanced back at the 2,000 Shinra soldiers lying on the ground. "Although that mission took much too long…" She wiped her face off with a towel and grabbed her phone. "No more missions? Guess I'll have to wait… I wonder when I'll be interrupted."

Cloud walked in, widening his eyes at the fallen soldiers.

"Oh great timing, I was just wondering when my day was going to be ruined."

"Have you seen Zack? We had breakfast together and he said he was going to get some milk and never came back. That was an hour ago," Cloud said.

Levei raised her eyebrow. "Maybe he had a mission?" She paused. "Never mind, I was thinking of someone else. Did you try calling him?"

"No," Cloud admitted, sheepishly.

Levei held out her hand for his phone and Cloud placed it in her hand. She dialed Zack's number and when he answered, she spoke in a monotone voice. "We know where you are."

"…what? Who is this?" Zack demanded from the other line.

"This isn't your phone."

"What? Is this some kind of joke?!"

"Five," Levei persisted.

"Wait!" Zack yelled.

"Four."

Zack dropped his phone and Levei hung up, returning Cloud's cell.

Ryiah clapped excitedly. "Good job, you've satisfied me again! I _love_ watching you make an idiot of yourself!"

"… it was going to explode." Zack looked at her with wide eyes.

"Really? That's interesting," Ryiah noted, staring at Zack's phone which was now laying a few feet away. "It looks okay to me."

"Whatever, I carry spares." Zack pulled out another phone from a pocket and waved it at her.

"You would make a great Turk someday."

"Really?"

"Nope~!" Ryiah slipped into the training room. "Five second warning! Zack's coming in!"

"There's not enough time!" Cloud wailed, looking around frantically for a place to hide.

"It's okay, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," Levei said.

"Zack's not my enemy!"

"Are you his?"

"…I don't think so." Cloud said, unsure.

Levei raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not!" Cloud said, before turning to look at Ryiah. "Wow, what are you wearing?"

"It's my birthday present to you." Ryiah winked, twirling her puffy yellow skirt.

"But it's not my birthday…"

Ryiah pointed a bit of fabric. "Pull here."

Cloud hesitantly took the frill and pulled, the dress ripped and all the ruffles uncoiled until it was just a simple little yellow dress.

"Thank goodness! I can move again, all those doilies were killing me, but I knew if I ripped the dress Tseng would murder me and keep my eyes in a jar on his trophy wall… thanks for doing it for me!"

Cloud looked terrified.

Levei sighed and muttered, "You'd think he'd learn…"

Zack rushed in. "Hey Cloud! I got the milk!" He held up a bottle of milk.

Cloud turned and glared. "It took you an hour to find milk?"

"There was a line… and my phone! It was rigged to self destruct!"

"I had to eat my cereal dry… do you know what that sort of thing does to a guy?"

Ryiah's eyes went wide. "_That's_ the cause? I thought it was just a side effect of too many steroids."

"…what?" Cloud asked, confused.

Zack laughed. "We don't use steroids." He flexed an arm. "This is all hard work."

Levei nodded. "It takes a lot of work to be a man and keep those muscles small. But Zack is able to do it so well."

"Small!?"

"Am I going to be watched now?" Cloud looked to the ceiling. "She tricked me into ripping the dress, all seeing Turk!"

"You were already being watched." Ryiah shrugged. "Tseng really likes you for some reason, I think it's the blonde hair. Now, on with the mystery!"

"Mystery?" Zack questioned.

"…you don't know? Twiggy, you better take this one."

"The mystery of where all the good men went," Levei explained.

"I'm standing right here." Zack frowned.

"And I'm standing next to him!" Cloud added.

Levei turned to Ryiah. "It looks like this mystery will be harder than we thought…"

"I think we have the wrong people on the case." Ryiah shook her head at Zack and Cloud. "We better seek guidance from a higher power…"

* * *

"Big night, huh, Sephiroth?" Angeal asked his friend as him, Sephiroth and Genesis stood conversing on the roof.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sephiroth dismissed.

"Don't be coy, please, enlighten us with the details of your… date." Genesis smiled.

Sephiroth closed his eyes. "It was a mission, I have explained this to you already."

Angeal smiled. "Sure it was."

Sephiroth turned to Genesis. "I'd rather talk about your sister's date with Zack."

Genesis stopped smiling.

"That's what I thought." Sephiroth smirked.

"I didn't hear about that! Was that a mission too?" Angeal asked.

Genesis spoke through gritted teeth. "No."

"That boy is showing more potential than expected," Sephiroth noted.

"Perhaps this is an invitation to show you the potential of my sword."

"Now, now, there's no honor in fighting your friends over something as trivial as-" Angeal began, being cut off by Sephiroth.

"Your sister getting some SOLDIER action."

Genesis drew his sword.

Sephiroth smiled and unsheathed his sword as well. "You want to play? I'll play."

"Please, both of you put your swords away," Angeal mediated.

Genesis glared at Sephiroth who glared back.

"Shall we take this to the training room?" Angeal smiled.

* * *

Zack frowned and tilted his head. "Why do I feel like doing a fist pump… eh." He pumped his fist.

"Higher power?" Cloud repeated, looking at Ryiah confused.

"Yeah, you know, God," Ryiah clarified.

"God?"

"You called?" Sephiroth asked, appearing in the training room with his friends.

"Someone must have 'spoke of the devil'," Genesis said.

Ryiah shook her head. "No, no I _was_ referring to Sephiroth."

"Zack! Good to see you're working hard as expected. Always preparing for the next battle," Angeal said.

"He'll never be prepared for what I've got coming his way," Genesis spoke evilly.

"I've been dreaming of this day!" Zack pulled out his sword. "You've finally agreed to duel me, Genesis."

"What I have in mind is no friendly 'duel'."

"Glad to see his attention shifted to something that does concern me," Sephiroth commented, speaking of Genesis

"Please, Zack, don't pick fights with him." Cloud sighed.

"Who's picking fights? This is a man-to-man battle!" Zack shouted.

"That's stretching it a little…" Levei said.

Genesis pulled out a small book. "Let me explain this in the words of 'Loveless'."

"Just say it like modern people, please, Genesis," Angeal pleaded.

Genesis sharply closed the book and frowned. "You may have gotten away with tricking my innocent kid sister into a date, but I assure you, I won't let it happen again."

Ryiah nodded. "I'm with you 100%."

"Stay out of this, Turk."

Cloud tried to pull Ryiah back.

"Rape!" Ryiah shouted.

Cloud blushed and flinched.

"I didn't trick her! She asked _me_!" Zack defended.

Levei now sat off to the side, reading 'Loveless: The Sequel'.

"Just ask her!"

"Can you not see she's reading?" Genesis glared and shook his head. "I should have expected this rude behavior from you."

"I think you may be taking this a little too far Genesis," Angeal warned.

"Tch." Genesis flipped his cape in frustration.

"What did that accomplish?" Zack said.

"He does that when he's angry, or about to leave, or hungry." Sephiroth paused. "You do that a lot, Genesis."

Genesis narrowed his eyes at Sephiroth.

"Oh, we have a question for you." Ryiah held up a finger.

"I'm all ears." Angeal smiled at her warmly.

"Well… not _you_ specifically, Angeal. I was more hinting towards your panel."

"We don't have time for your trivial matters," Genesis dismissed.

"Twiggy's in on this too, you'll do it for your sister, right?"

"Please, get on with it, we have places to be," Sephiroth said.

"He has a hair appointment," Angeal informed them.

Levei glanced up from her book, then shook her head and continued reading.

"Hey, Twiggy, I think Ryiah needs your help," Cloud told her, softly.

Levei ignored him.

Zack muttered, "Please don't let it be something stupid… if there is a god."

Sephiroth smiled. "You rang?"

"Please…" Zack begged quietly.

"We were wondering," Ryiah began, and took Levei's arm. "What happened to all the decent men?"

"Are you serious? I thought Levei was just humoring you!" Zack shouted.

"It's a good question, this mystery needs to be solved."

"You have two good men standing right in front of you," Sephiroth said.

Cloud nodded.

"That's what I told them!" Zack agreed.

"I was referring to those two." Sephiroth pointed towards two infantry men training. "They are fine men, doing what's expected of them instead of wasting the time of their superiors."

"Hmm… I can't tell with those helmets on but, I think they may have some potential… come on Twiggy, we're going to go on a double-blind date! It's blind because we can't see their faces, and I'm probably going to blind fold you to make things interesting."

"Maybe one of them could be my new babysitter," Levei said.

"What? No! I'm your babysitter! I mean… I'm your body guard! I'm here to guard your body!" Zack exclaimed.

"I think we know what a body guard is, Zack," Cloud pointed out.

"They're not even thirds! They're at the lowest level! They are NOTHING!"

The first infantry man looked up. "Hey…"

"Not cool man…" The other one frowned.

"I…" Zack rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry…"

"You stay away from her body." Genesis pointed to Zack with his sword. "If my sister wants to go on a date with one of these gentlemen, you will do nothing to stop her!"

"You're letting them take her on a date?! What's wrong with me!" Zack motioned to himself.

"I don't like your face."

"His jaw is very square," Sephiroth agreed.

"Hey, this is where I have to step in," Angeal said. "Zack is a fine young man, just because his eyes are a little far apart doesn't mean he won't make a great husband someday."

"Thanks Angeal…" Zack grumbled.

Ryiah sighed. "This isn't going exactly as planned… I'm all pretty and there's no man to tell me I'm beautiful." She swished her dress slightly.

"You're—" Cloud started.

"There's no _man_ to tell me I'm beautiful," Ryiah repeated, louder.

"Maybe if you weren't so busy fishing for compliments," Sephiroth said.

"It's kind of her thing," Levei pointed out.

"Why are you dressed up, anyway?" Angeal questioned.

"My suit is dirty," Ryiah said simply.

"You Turks do tend to roll around in the mud," Sephiroth stated.

Ryiah shrugged. "I had to dig up some bodies. I wanted to give you my heart as a thank you gift for the date, Sephiroth. But, that proved too dangerous, so I sent you someone else's."

"I am not amused."

Ryiah grinned at him.

"That's okay, she is, so that's good enough. I assure you," Levei said.

Zack turned to Genesis. "What can I do to be good enough?"

"Fix your face," Genesis told him, blankly.

"… second option?"

Genesis glared at him.

"Do you not understand the code by which soldier body guards must live by? It is forbidden for a romantic relationship to develop," Sephiroth recited.

"I thought I made that clear in the mission's fine print," Genesis added.

"What? Fine print! No! Twiggy! Now that our romance is forbidden, I _must_ have you!" Ryiah cried.

"Sorry, Turks are out of the question." Levei shrugged. "Can't be helped."

"What about to fight you? I am more than enough!"

"A fight will not resolve the code of the bodyguard. Even someone as small minded as you must understand this," Genesis said.

"I think we're missing the bigger picture here. Why does Zack _care_ so much?" Ryiah asked. "Twiggy took him on one date, which, no offense, must have been pretty crappy if it was the two of _you _on a date. I mean," She laughed. "You're no Ryiah and Sephiroth."

"She has a point there," Sephiroth agreed.

"And we have God to thank for that," Levei added.

"What is everyone talking about? I just want to fight Genesis! What does Levei have to do with that?" Zack demanded.

"I don't think he's been paying attention," Cloud said.

"Does he ever pay attention?" Sephiroth asked.

Angeal smiled and rubbed the back of his head. "He's had his moments…"

"Zack, Zack, Zack, always the romantic." Ryiah clicked her tongue. "See, you're challenging Genesis to a duel for the right to marry his sister. But you can't go against contract that says any romantic contact is forbidden due to your professional bodyguard relationship."

"…forbidden?" Zack repeated.


	12. More than Better than I Need a Girl

**Chapter Twelve:**

**-** _More than better than I need a girl_

"Zack, Zack, Zack, always the romantic." Ryiah clicked her tongue. "See, you're challenging Genesis to a duel for the right to marry his sister. But you can't go against contract that says any romantic contact is forbidden due to your professional bodyguard relationship."

"…forbidden?" Zack repeated.

"Romantic 'contact'?" Cloud said.

"Don't look so heartbroken, Twiggy would never go for a guy like you anyway, unless you had _a lot_ of money," Ryiah pointed out.

"I'm not heartbroken… more confused. I mean, I didn't realize there was something romantic going on? I like being around her but… I don't have plans to _marry_ her!" Zack said.

"Why not? What's wrong with my sister?! Is she not _good enough_ for you!?" Genesis demanded.

"That's not it at all!"

Levei held up a ringed finger, making a sad face at Zack. "That's not what you said last night…"

Genesis tried to strike Zack with his sword, but Zack blocked him. "You're not helping!"

Levei rolled her eyes. "Please, this has gotten out of hand. Let's talk about something that's not about Zack and me… I'm starting to feel sick."

"Awh, don't worry Twiggy! If you're meant to be, you'll find each other in death!" Ryiah reassured her.

"How is that helping?" Cloud asked.

"Shush Blondie, you know nothing about love."

"What are you three doing here, anyway?" Levei questioned.

Genesis pulled back from Zack and put his sword away. "Just keeping an eye on the future target." He watched Zack carefully.

"I can't win!" Zack shouted.

"It's okay, we get that look all the time from Genesis." Angeal smiled.

"This confrontation has resolved nothing." Ryiah shook her head. "How disappointing."

"I have a feeling this will be addressed again in the future. Zack's honor is at stake," Angeal noted.

"What? My honor is fine!" Zack protested.

"To my disappointment, this has ceased to entertain me. I'll see you two later," Sephiroth told Angeal and Genesis before leaving.

"He was here to be entertained?" Cloud asked.

"You lower life forms are interesting to us gods," Genesis explained.

"I'll… be right back," Ryiah announced before stepping out of the room. "Sephiroth, wait!"

Sephiroth stopped walking and slightly glanced over his shoulder.

"I… I'm sorry about the heart thing I said earlier."

"Why?"

"I… really did enjoy our day. And I didn't mean to make a joke out of it."

"Is that all?"

"… yeah, I think so." Ryiah blushed.

Sephiroth continued walking and Ryiah slipped back into the training room.

"Your dying honor is showing… how embarrassing." Levei looked at Zack.

"What? Where?!" Zack looked down, then looked back up at Levei with a frown. "Very funny."

Levei shrugged and nodded toward Angeal who nodded back.

"Should we go follow him?" Angeal asked Genesis.

"For the sake of our time—" Genesis replied.

"—and Zack's life—"

"That would be wise."

The two men left the room.

"Do we have a mission today, Zack?" Cloud asked.

"Uh… yeah I'm sure there's something," Zack answered.

"I've already accepted three missions for us under Zack's name," Ryiah declared.

"What? Why would you accept a mission for me?!"

"Because you couldn't do it yourself?"

"Can I tag along again, I feel like I'm learning a lot," Cloud said.

"Lesson 103: Never ask permission for further training opportunities," Ryiah recited.

"Why is that a bad thing? I thought training was a good thing…"

"You don't ask permission, you just go along with it! You dork!" Ryiah pinched his arm.

Cloud grabbed his bicep. "Ouch."

"Cloud, man up," Zack instructed, embarrassed.

"What exactly are the missions?" Levei narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Ryiah.

Zack looked through his phone. "I don't know how she could have hacked my phone…"

"Mission #1: Rescue cat stuck in tree  
Mission #2: Search for the buried treasure  
Mission #3: Pay for Ryiah's manicure"

Levei handed Ryiah a bag of gil. "Mission number three accomplished."

The Final Fantasy victory music played.

"What kind of missions are these?! They aren't even missions!" Zack shouted.

Cloud turned to Ryiah. "Is there a lesson for refuting missions?"

"Uhm…" Ryiah tapped her lip before pinching Cloud again. "What part of Lesson Two don't you understand!?"

"Don't ask questions… right."

"Well… let's go save that cat." Zack sighed.

"I made that one up, there are no trees around here unless… we take a field trip." Ryiah grinned, hopefully.

"Nuh-uh, not after the last one. There's no way I'm going to risk facing Genesis again if something happens to Levei."

"So there are no regular missions?" Levei pulled out her phone.

Cloud took out his phone as well and a silence fell over the room as him and Levei played with their phones.

"What are you guys doing…?" Zack frowned.

"Missions," They answered together.

"I don't believe you!" Zack snatched Cloud's phone out of his hands and looked at the message he had just received. "Who's this beez, Tifa?"

"She's no one…" Cloud grabbed his phone back.

"It's his." Ryiah dropped her voice to a whisper. "Girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend?" Zack asked, surprised.

"He gets more action than you, it's not surprising since he's a lot more attractive."

Cloud dropped his phone. "Woops." He picked it up again.

"And he probably has a bigger—"

Cloud threw his phone. "My bad."

"—ego." Ryiah finished.

"Cloud doesn't have a bigger ego than me!" Zack protested.

"Well… maybe not, you are pretty full of yourself."

"Thank you." Zack smiled and posed.

Cloud shook his head.

Zack looked at Levei. "Who are you talking to?"

"Definitely not any beezerlings," Levei answered, not looking up from her phone.

"You know Twiggy… there's always another option for us girls," Ryiah started.

"Am I included in this?" Cloud asked.

"… you're finally catching on! But sadly, no, not this time Cloud-ette."

"She used my name! … kind of," Cloud said, excited.

"Someday, buddy." Zack slapped Cloud on the back.

"Those two infantry man are looking pretty lonely… and your brother did approve," Ryiah continued.

"Hey, what are you getting at?" Zack demanded.

"Don't eavesdrop! What do you say, Twiggy? Should we take them up on that blind date?" Ryiah held up a blindfold.

Levei reached for the blindfold.

"What?!" Zack exclaimed.

Levei pushed it down. "Did you forget no one knows I'm a girl? We haven't gotten the okay from whoever Genesis needs the okay from."

"Who's that?"

"I don't know… but I am not going to have the reputation that Zack has acquired."

"…what reputation is that?!"

"You're right…I completely forgot about that! Hmm… maybe if I find another girl, we can still do that double date." Ryiah tapped her lip. "And you can be _her_ date!"

"Why would that be fun for her?!" Zack shouted.

"Because, she would get a break from you."

"I… I volunteer myself!" Cloud said, looking determined.

Ryiah ignored him.

"Hey, Levei and I are friends!" Zack said.

"Yeah right!" Ryiah laughed.

"… we are, right Levei?"

"Oh my gosh, I just had the best idea! Blondie can dress up like a woman and be Twiggy's date! Then I'll take nameless infantry man number five over there and we can leave Zack out in the rain."

"But I volunteered… it was my idea," Cloud said sadly.

"That has got to be the worst idea I've ever heard." Levei sighed. "And I've spent a lot of time with Zack."

Zack grabbed her arm and sobbed. "I thought we were friends!"

Levei rolled her eyes before looking to Ryiah. "What will this accomplish?"

"It'll make her happy," Cloud offered.

"Try again."

"What's with all these dates all of a sudden, can't you just be happy being single?" Zack asked.

"Okay, you caught me; I have a secret agenda…" Ryiah covered her eyes. "I'm addicted to the night life and…" She pulled Levei aside. "Twiggy, do this for me, will you? I need to make Sephiroth jealous!"

"What is she doing?" Zack asked Cloud as the two could only see the girls whispering amongst each other.

"I don't know, should I go over there and listen?" Cloud watched the girls.

"I think all this Turk stuff has gone to your head. You're not a spy, Cloud, they _will_ see you."

"But…" Cloud looked frantically between Ryiah and Zack.

"Just listen to me, have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Well there was that time—"

Zack touched Cloud on the shoulder. "Let the past go."

"Make Sephiroth jealous?" Levei frowned. "… no you don't. What are you really up to?"

"Fine… I want to see that blonde kid in a dress, okay? … Don't look at me that way!" Ryiah wailed, knowing that her lies were once again falling short. "Just go along with it, okay? You'll see why I'm doing this; just stick around for a while. Besides, don't _you_ want to make Zack jealous?"

"Yes, you caught me," Levei said, blankly. "We can't just leave Zack here, if Genesis sees Zack without me, he'll come looking for me. And I'd rather not explain this whole thing to him. I don't even want to explain it to myself."

"Okay, then we'll find another girl… who else do we know that's female…" Ryiah's phone buzzed with a text that said simply: "No".

"What do you think my color is, Zack? Purple or blue?" Cloud asked, giving up hope on a spy mission.

Zack cocked his head at him. "You're seriously going to go through with this? … yellow."

"But I _can't_ wear yellow! Ryiah's wearing yellow!"

"Honestly Cloud, that's the least of your worries right now…"

"Tseng won't do it…" Ryiah sighed. "Darn, that was my only option. Do you know anyone?"

"No." Levei watched Ryiah's hopeful eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll make up another mission for him to go on or something." She pulled out her phone.

"Great! I mean, I would suggest Zack dress up as the girl but… well Blondie's got his heart set on it and… if Genesis catches the two of you on another date…"

"I think blue would look good with my eyes…" Cloud said.

"Please…please don't rationalize your choices… For Soldier." Zack flinched.

"Okay… I've just got to find a dress my size, and get my voice to sound higher."

"Thanks for doing this, Twiggy, you won't regret it!" Ryiah gushed. "… well actually, that's kind of a lie." She gave Levei a wan smile. "But it'll really teach Zack a lesson-! I mean… what? Let's go update the boys…"

"Do you think I could do my own makeup?" Cloud pondered.

"If you were a clown, yes. But you're not…" Ryiah paused in thought. "No, you're not. I'll take this sexy piece of woman candy and we'll meet you and Ol' Nameless at the restaurant." She slipped her arm around Cloud's neck, standing on her tip-toes to reach.

"You agreed?" Zack turned to Levei, surprised.

"Yeah," Levei said, not looking up from her phone.

"So you're going on a date… with him?" He pointed to Cloud and shook his head. "This can't be good."

"Do I have to wear heels? I've never worn them before." Cloud furrowed his brow.

"Yeah, like I'm going to believe _that_." Ryiah dragged Cloud from the room.

"What if your brother finds out? I don't think Cloud can handle the abuse," Zack said.

"He's not going to find out. Because you're going to distract him."


	13. Beautiful My Girl

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**-** _So beautiful my girl in the cube  
Ha ha girl  
This is my confession  
Drop that beat_

"I'm going to do what?" Zack asked, dumbfounded.

Levei crossed her arms and stared him down.

"You really expect me to try and spend the evening with Genesis? The guy who has been trying to kill me?!"

"So you can't handle it?"

"I… you…" Zack's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I can handle it…"

"Good."

* * *

Ryiah and Cloud sat together at a table of a fancy Italian restaurant. "Look cute, Blondie," Ryiah instructed, fixing the collar of his light blue dress.

"How do I do that?" Cloud asked nervously, self consciously tugging on his curly blond wig.

Ryiah looked him up and down as they waited for the 'boys' to show up. "Well, normally you do a pretty good job of that innocent puppy look. But tonight… well, honestly, you look like a hooker"

"You dressed me like this!"

"I heard Twiggy likes her women easy." Ryiah grinned.

As if on cue, Levei and the infantry man arrived, strolling up to Ryiah and Cloud's table. Levei sat down next to her date silently and picked up the menu.

Cloud coughed, trying to draw attention to himself but Levei ignored him.

Cloud coughed a little louder.

"You should get that checked out," Levei said, not looking up.

The infantry man took a seat next to Ryiah. "Sorry we kept you waiting."

"Tch, it's fine, neither of you had a very good chance of getting lucky tonight anyway," Ryiah said, bitterly.

Cloud looked from Ryiah to Levei, shocked at the thought that he could possibly be expected to 'put out'. "What?!"

"Well, Twiggy had a pretty good chance." Ryiah winked at Levei. "I made sure Blondie didn't wear any panties." She winked at Cloud with her other eye.

"That isn't true! … wait, that _is_ true! I'm not wearing panties I'm wearing men's underwear!" Cloud defended, frantically.

"… whatever you're into I guess?" The infantry man mumbled. "Thank god she's not _my_ date."

Levei kept her nose buried in her menu.

Cloud nudged her, and muttered: "Say something!"

Levei looked up at Ryiah and her date. "I assure you, I always get lucky," she said and turned back to the menu.

"That's not what I meant!" Cloud whispered harshly.

"Right… uh, have you guys decided yet?" The infantry man asked, glancing at his menu, too.

"I think Twiggy should order for us, to show what a _man_ she is," Ryiah said.

"Whoa, I spent the whole ride over here with him, he's not the kind of guy that appreciates being called a 'she'." The infantry man put a hand on Ryiah's arm, protectively. "Trust me, I'm looking out for you."

"A little forward are we?" Ryiah looked from the arm on her hand to the man it was connected to.

The man let go and leaned back in his seat nervously.

Cloud glared at him from behind his menu.

Levei put an arm around Cloud's shoulders and looked over at him with a smile. "What're you having?"

"I…uh..." Cloud stuttered, not used to this kind of treatment from a woman, no less Levei.

Levei smirked and retracted her arm. "Guess I'll have to order for you." She glanced to Ryiah. "You guys ready?"

"I thought you were ordering for us." Ryiah grinned at her. "So the question is: are _you_ ready?"

"I'll have the… _mako_ encrusted chicken." The infantry man announced.

"I didn't realize _mako_ was edible."

The infantry man shrugged. "It's an addiction."

* * *

"I've heard great things about this place, I promise you, they have dinner theater that's to die for…" Zack told Genesis as they walked down a dimly lit food district.

"I'm not doing this because of you, I just happen to like viewing different renditions of Loveless," Genesis said as the two men entered the restaurant. Due to Zack's lack of planning, they were seated at a table on the opposite side of the room from the stage.

"I should have known you were too small minded to think ahead and make reservations." Genesis snapped his finger and a waiter ran over. "Please, upgrade my…" He glanced at Zack. "...acquaintance and I to a table closer to the entertainment."

"Yes Genesis…" The waiter looked nervous with the recognition of such a renowned Soldier.

"There is a reason I became famous."

Zack crossed his arms. "I'm pretty famous too. Watch!" He stood up. "Someone get me some water!"

"Keep it down, Zack!" A woman, obviously a man in disguise, shouted from somewhere further in the restaurant.

Zack smiled at Genesis, who was ignoring him.

Back at Ryiah and Levei's table, Cloud paused. "Wait, Zack?! What's he doing here?!" He exclaimed, revealing himself to be the man in disguise.

"Who?" The infantry man asked, turning. "Oh, Zack Fair? Why? Is he an…" He dropped his voice a whisper. "Old flame of yours?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no…"

"Yes. My date and he have had a rocky romance that ends tonight." Levei put her arm around Cloud again. "Because she doesn't need anyone but me now."

Cloud sighed.

Ryiah glanced at them. "Wow, you're really getting into this…" She raised an eyebrow at the arm Levei had slung around Cloud.

"We could, uh… compete." The infantry man smiled at her.

"In your dreams, buddy."

"Hey, I thought you asked _me_ on this date, what gives?"

"I liked you better with the helmet."

"I could put it back on…" The infantry man offered.

Ryiah covered his hand with hers. "I think that would be best…" She looked around the room. "I think the show's going to start soon… hey." She squinted. "Is that… oh my!" Ryiah covered her mouth. "I would recognize that ass…cot anywhere, it's your brother!"

"Genesis doesn't wear an ascot," Cloud pointed out.

"He does when he goes to dinner theater!"

"He is very fashionable," Levei agreed.

Zack happened to glance over at their table as he and Genesis were relocated closer to the stage. "Why does she have her arm around Cloud…?! …What are they doing here?!"

"Something the matter?" Genesis asked.

Zack jumped and turned to Genesis. "No! Nothing's the matter! Just, trying not to trip!" He smiled overly wide. "You know, I heard from somewhere… my phone, I got a text that this show wasn't really _that_ great… the uh, main actor is sick and we should probably go somewhere else."

"Nonsense, we're here and the show must go on."

"But really…" Zack scratched the back of his neck, desperately trying to come up with a way he could fulfill his mission.

Ryiah leaned into Levei. "I thought he was supposed to _distract_ Genesis, so he doesn't murder your date. Not bring him in the same room!"

"What's going on here?" The infantry man questioned.

"Stay out of this!" Ryiah hissed.

"That's the last time I listen to a Turk…"

"They should teach that in Soldier training." Levei sipped her water.

"What should we do?" Cloud asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing!?"

"He's a smart soldier, he'll figure it out," Levei explained.

"You're complimenting him?!"

Levei put her finger up to Cloud's lips. "Shh," she whispered, adding in a hushed tone only Cloud could hear, "Or I'll cut your throat." She smiled, taking her finger away.

Cloud stared at her with fear in his eyes.

The infantry man turned to Ryiah. "See, that's how a first date is supposed to go."

Ryiah smiled sweetly and moved closer, putting her arm through his.

"That's more like it."

Ryiah whispered in his ear. "I'll let you in on a little secret… it's kind of breaking my personal code, but… I think it's the only option. See, I set up this date to make Zack Fair over there, uncomfortable when his beloved Twiggy falls for Blondie."

"Wait, Zack Fair likes guys? I've heard the rumors but I didn't think it was true…"

"Oh, it's true all right, watch out in the showers."

"But why go through all this trouble?" The infantry man asked.

"Because… He's my-" Ryiah paused as dramatic music played, signifying the show was about to start. "-Arch nemesis."

"Sounds like the play is going to begin," Cloud stated, narrowing his eyes at Ryiah's closeness to the infantry man.

"Finally, something I can stand to listen to," Levei said.

* * *

_At a table closer to the stage…_

"Oh thank heavens, I was going to lose my mind." Genesis turned to the stage.

Zack laughed nervously as the curtains went up. Angeal walked out on stage in a costume.

"A-Angeal?!" Genesis gasped.

"Who is that sexy—Angeal? Oh my gosh!" Ryiah clapped. "This is going to be better than I thought. Do you think Sephiroth is here too?"

Angeal began reciting his lines. "When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end, the goddess descends from the sky, wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting."

Levei stood up abruptly and set her napkin on the table before storming out of the restaurant.

"Wait! D-dear!" Cloud ran after his date.

"Tch, jerks, they didn't even give me a warning," Ryiah cursed.

"A warning? Wait… you're not going to leave too, are you?" The infantry man asked.

"Well… let's be honest here, this would have never worked."

"Yeah, yeah… I guess you don't really need _me_ to make Zack jealous."

Ryiah shook her head. "Sorry buddy, it was… yeah, it just was." She nodded before running away.

"Leaving before the show is over… how inconsiderate," Genesis noted as he spotted three figures slipping out the back door.

Zack sighed with relief as he realized it was his friends.

* * *

"Wait up guys!" Ryiah called, jogging to catch up with Cloud and Levei.

Cloud looked over his shoulder slightly as he walked next to Levei. "Where's your date?"

"I ditched that bag of rocks… let's do a three way."

"I don't think I'm that kind of woman…" Cloud said.

"Oh… well, I'll just be the third wheel then. It's okay, I do it with Tseng all the time!"

"I don't think Tseng goes on dates that often…" Cloud frowned.

"Well he does!" Ryiah shouted.

From behind some nearby bushes, Tseng threw a rock at Cloud's head. "I do just fine with women…" He said to himself silently.

"Ouch…" Cloud rubbed his head, mussing up his wig.

"Sorry my love, I'm not much of a date if I can't even protect you." Levei took Cloud's hand.

"Thank you." Cloud said, attempting to do a curtsey but instead did a squat.

"That was very Zack like of you…"

"It happens."

Ryiah grabbed her dress and hurried to catch up with the two. "Well, where to now? You're the man, Twiggy, make a decision."

"You know… since your date is gone, there's not much reason for Levei and me to keep pretending we're the opposite genders," Cloud pointed out.

"But I like you in a dress! It brings out your calves."

"Yeah but this eyeliner is itchy, and my thighs are chafing…" Cloud rubbed his thighs as he walked along awkwardly.

Levei gave some passerby Soldiers a wary glance before speaking in a lowered tone. "It seems we're not out of Shinra's reach just yet, we need to get a little further if we want to change."

"But I don't have extra clothes." Cloud sighed.

"We could switch clothes; these ones can fit a large spectrum of people, and we're around the same height."

"Anything to get out of these faster," Cloud said, trying to fight the urge to wipe his eyes.

"Yeah right, Twiggy can't fit in that triple XL dress!" Ryiah furrowed her brow. "No offense Blondie, but you're kind of large."

"You mean muscular… I'm not as big as Zack but…" Cloud shrugged. "Oh no a puddle! I don't want to ruin these shoes." He gave Levei a look.

Levei sighed before picking Cloud up bridal stile and lifting him over the puddle.

"Thanks… I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd probably be a lot safer."

"…what?"

"Hm?" Levei set Cloud down on his feet. "Well, what should we do then? No point in staying out longer." She glanced at Ryiah.

"Let's go for a walk." Ryiah pushed ahead of them.

Cloud sighed. "Heels…"

"Stop complaining." Ryiah called back, bitterly.

"Do you want to give me a piggy back ride, dear?" Cloud asked, teasing Levei.

"Tch, dear? Who does he think he is?" Ryiah grumbled to herself.

"That's a little forward… I'll hold your hand but that's it." Levei held out a hand.

Cloud laughed a little before taking it.

* * *

Zack leaned over to Genesis as they sat in the audience, still trying to survive the painful rendition. "Did all this really happen in the Loveless thing?"

"I can't take this anymore, I'm leaving." Genesis stood, at his breaking point with the butchering of his bible.

"Wait! You can't go home yet."

"You have two seconds to explain yourself before I sprout wings and fly out of his abomination of a dinner theater."

"Heh, sprout wings, that's a good one…" Zack chuckled to himself nervously. "Oh uh, there's a Loveless tribute someone painted… it's kind of graffiti deemed a 'gift of the goddess'."

"…show me," Genesis demanded.

* * *

"Can we stop walking now? My feet are killing me…" Cloud moaned.

Levei sighed and continued to carry him piggy-back style. "You haven't walked for twenty minutes."

"But they still hurt… this wasn't part of training!"

"I need to start making notes of what to put in the training regimen… hey," Levei called up to Ryiah. "Where are we going?"

Ryiah, who was walking a good distance ahead of Cloud and Levei, glanced over her shoulder. "I'm dragging you two _lovebirds_ out into the desert so I can murder you and no one will be able to find the bodies."

"I don't think you could take both of us…" Cloud pointed out.

"Yeah, but if Twiggy throws herself in front of you to protect her _girlfriend_ maybe I'll get lucky and the bullet go through both of you."

"I think it's finally getting to her," Levei muttered and Cloud looked at her curiously.

After a moment he sighed and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Thanks for carrying me."

Levei paused before answering. "If she attacks, be ready."

Ryiah sighed. "It's freezing out here… who knew deserts could be cold."

"It's because there are no plants or foliage to keep in the heat, it's a good thing I have you, Levei, we can keep each other warm," Cloud said.

"The date's over you know, you don't have to keep pretending."

"As long as I'm wearing this dress, I'm going to stay in character. Otherwise I'm just a lone infantry man in a light blue dress lost in the middle of the desert."

"Which is much worse, I assure you," Levei added.

Cloud nodded in agreement as Levei called up to Ryiah again, "I brought an extra jacket, if you're cold."

"Giving another woman your jacket?!" Cloud gasped.

Levei gave him a side glare.

"Nah, I'm good." Ryiah shivered slightly and stopped walking.

"Why are we stopping? Is the walk over?" Cloud questioned.

"Yes, I don't want to go much farther, I'm lost enough already." Ryiah sighed.

* * *

"Please explain to me why one would make graffiti out here in the desert where no one comes to see it," Genesis spat as he watched Zack look around the dunes frantically.

"… this isn't right… Damn it, I'm lost." Zack flopped his arms in defeat.

Genesis drew his sword.

Zack put his hands up. "Whoa, whoa, that won't help anything!"

"I don't know about that; I'm sure it'll make me feel a lot better."

"You're lost?!" Someone shouted from a little up the road.

"How did you know? Who are you?" Genesis demanded, stepping up to the voice. Once spotting it's owner his face twisted in distaste. "My god, what an ugly woman!"

"… I didn't think I looked _that_ bad," Cloud grimaced.

"Your mascara started to run from your eyes watering due to your heel pain," Ryiah told him.

"The Turk?" Genesis turned to Cloud's companions. "Levei?! What are _you_ doing out here?"


End file.
